Sanable! book 2

1

I blink my wet eyes again and again as tears keep sliping away from them, moistening the soft white fluffy pillow on which I sleep usually.

Sleep? I laugh at my choice of words.

Why did he do that to me?

I wipe my tears with the back of my hand and turn to my left side, as like i will forget him while turning on my left side.

Stupid me.

I was still wrapped in the warm blankets. these tears seem to be more stubborn than me as they began to flow down again and wetting the pillow. Again.

How can he do that to me?

I wipe them off again roughly. My Damp lashes brushes against my cheek everytime a blink. Another sleepless night is about to get over and a new day is about to start with the sunrise.

Nope. Not in my case. Not in my life. Not in this fucking life.

You have ruined it randhir. You have ruined my life.

The sun rays never reaches to my heart. Its only darkness of the night which i can see everywhere in my life. This darkness will never let me go so soon. The darkness which is ready to engulf me in itself. For forever. Eating me up, punishing me for even breathing.

I was snapped out of my sleepless nap by the ringing of my alarm on the side table.

But I don't need alarm to wake up. His one thought is enough to keep me up at night.

Its almost 7:00. I need to go to work around 9:00 so I have enough time for now.

I get up from my bed leaving the warmth of my soft blanket. As my feet touch the cold floor , i shuddered internally . I rub my arms as i feel goosebumps rising on my body.

Holy angels ! I think i was better in the blankets.

damn! Its cold.

I make my way toward the big glass window in my room and look outside.

I open the window, maybe this fresh air will fill in my body and throw my distress out. I look at the Slight Pink sky , Birds flying away, Silent Street in this crowded world.

But for me,

This is my same morning routine from all these whole two years.

Almost two years.

I close my eyes again as the familiar pain pinches my heart. Like always.

This heartache can never be old for me. It's damn painful.

I will never get used to this pain. I can never get over him. I can't move on in my life.

Ever. Never. Not at all.

I sobbed a little as tear keep shedding down.

Damn not again....

For fuck sake.

"No sanyukta. You need to move on. Stay strong. Dont think about him. You are stronger than you think. He dont deserve it. Dont think about him. No. Just forget him. Be calm and stay strong."

I said to myself loudly like i always do as like it would make any difference.

I make my way toward washroom and close the door behind me. After doing my morning routines, i took a long long long warm bath, i came out of the washroom and gasp. .

Oh no.

its almost 8:30

How can I be this late?

Oh yeah i was so busy in hating my fate while crying all over again.

I sigh and went to my wardrobe wearing my baby pink bathrobe. I wear my garments then i put on a white shirt and then a black pencil skirt. Then i slip my black plumps in my feet and began to comb my hairs, after putting them in presentable bun, I apply minimal makup on my pale skin and apply little red lipstick to bring alteast some colour on my pale dead face.

But you know what...

I hate myself.

Yeah i do. I really do.

I am just a worthless piece of shit.

I don't deserve anyone's love. Maybe this is why all these things happen fo me. This is why everybody left.

My mom. Dad. Randhir.

Yeah.

Maybe I'm not made for love.

And i hate myself even more now. I cringe at the sight of myself.

All I want in my life is love. And now see what I have now.

I was feeling like crying again.

No. I scolded myself.

I took a deep breath again, then take some important file from my study table and make my way out of room.

I walked downstairs and smell of freshly baked pancakes hit my nostrils.

I went to the kitchen but see no one. But there was a plate full of food with a note kept neatly beside it.

"In a rush. Eat property. See you in office. Have a nice day. "

Aryan!

He is so sweet sometimes. Actually always.

Maybe there is something more precious than love, Friendship.

I smile at his efforts and began to eat those mouthwatering pancakes.

Atleast there is someone who still cares for me. Who didnt leave me for somebody else? Who is still stuck up with me even when I'm being such a worthless shit?

Hope you enjoyed the chapter...

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