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25th January 2014

As I sat in the back of the ambulance being examined, I felt many things but the only one that could describe what I felt the most, was loneliness. I was now lonely. I had no one. Everything had been taken from me. Everything had been ripped from my grasp and I couldn't do anything about it.

To lose someone that shouldn't have been taken from you is a tragedy; and that just happened to me. Everyone thinks it won't happen to them, and I was one of those people. I guess I was wrong.

From my spot on the abandoned, decaying, wooden bench, I could see the heroes trying to save what I knew couldn't be. There was no way that I could get back what I had lost, no matter how hard everyone around me tried.

I should have felt pain or sadness, or even anger, but I didn't. I just felt numb. I couldn't feel any emotions at that current point in time and I wished to stay like that forever.

I tightened the uncomfortable, yet grateful for, blanket around me to keep myself warm and cautiously made my way over to the paramedic to be examined.

As I was being checked over by the paramedic, who I felt ashamed for being rude to despite her kindness, the one and only thought that was going through my head, was that I was now an orphan.


One Month Later

25th February 2014

One month of misery, one month of resentment, one month of isolation. Those were the constant words that flowed through my brain as I ran to the rhythm of my music. Each foot landed on the uneven, grey pavement with a thud.

I very rarely went on runs but when I did, I always pushed myself to the brink of collapsing. Doing this made me feel free and allowed me to release all of the emotions that were built up inside of me.

I hadn't really dealt with what had happened a month ago, actually, I hadn't dealt with it at all. I just tried to continue on with my life and not think about it.

The kind paramedic that had helped me out the night of the tragedy, she found out that I had nowhere to go so she decided to take me to the hospital for the rest of the night and cared for me there.

Then in the morning, she took me to a facility that specialised in looking after kids while trying to find any family or friends known to that child. She explained that usually they would send me straight to an orphanage but in certain cases, they send the child here first.

To be honest, the whole twenty-four hours was a blur. I couldn't care less what place I went to. As long as I had a roof over my head, I was fine.

With a quick goodbye, the paramedic, whose name I'd learnt to be Natalie, left me to be with the facility owner, Penny.

At first, I tried to inform Penny that I had no other relatives or close friends around so that she would send me straight to the orphanage and I wouldn't waste her time but she didn't listen. She insisted that there would be somebody out there for me.

Usually, I would continue to argue but Penny was such a down-to-earth lady with a warm and gentle personality, that I just gave up. Penny was in her mid-sixties and had been married for forty years. She had three kids, who were all adults now, and she loved her job of giving children a second chance at living a happy life.

The first few days at the facility were quite unsettling for me because I wasn't ready to make this my temporary home for who knows how long. I wasn't ready to commit to it. Eventually, I set myself up and unpacked all of my belongings, those of which were salvaged in the fire.

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