Inhabited

Chapter 33

(A.N.)~Agggghhh I'm sorry it is short again but I'm trying to make things not go so fast!

HARRY'S P.O.V.

A monster.

Someone frightening.

Someone you're afraid of.

Someone who acts evil.

Someone who acts without thinking.

And that's exactly what I was right now. I was a monster. I could see so much fear come over Lily. It broke my heart. She was scared of me. This isn't what she expects from me. My emotions come in waves and they take over me when they come and I can't control it. It's all so new to me again.

I came to realization as to what I did when I saw her turn her head towards the floor and close her eyes. She couldn't look at me. That showed me how much I had hurt her. Maybe not physically but definitely emotionally.

I raised my hand up to her cheek and tried to speak to her.

"Lily, I-"

"Please." She turned her head away and kept her eyes closed as she whispered what she said and grabbed my wrist, pulling my hand off her cheek.

"Lily, I'm so sorry, look at me."

She continued to stay still and ignore me. I wanted to try and do everything I could right now for her to trust me but there's no way. I lashed out for no reason and I feel like shit. I guess I really haven't learned to love.

"Listen, my emotions are still coming back and it is hard for me to control myself. I haven't learned yet to control them. I didn't mean to, Lily. I'm sorry." I stared at her face, waiting at any moment for her beautiful blue eyes to meet my face again but all I saw was the side of her head. I let go of her as she pulled away from my grip and left the kitchen. I stood there as I watched her slim figure walk away from me in disappointment.

All I could do was sit down on a bar stool and put my palms over my face and wonder...wonder what I could do to make things better. She has taught me so much and I lost it all. My loving qualities came back but were now all the sudden gone. One moment I told her she looked perfect in my shirt and her underwear then one minute I was pushing her up against the wall because she asked me for a favor. I'm two different people, but who's the real me? Sometimes I can't really tell. Maybe because my normal self hasn't come back all the way but I need to discover where I can find the real me and bring him back. I couldn't tell her what I knew. If I did, it would ruin everything and put us in more danger. Lily would be worried sick and things would spiral out of control. No matter how bad I love her and want to tell her the truth, I have to keep my mouth shut.

LILY'S P.O.V.

I walked out of the kitchen, out of Harry's tight hold on me, and plopped down on his couch. I didn't feel like crying this time. I feel like I've cried so much in such little time that I can't anymore and there's no point. I was scared of Harry and his emotions. If he easily snapped at that then what else would he snap at? Nick was right. He's a dangerous guy. Maybe I should have believed Nick all along. Harry could have told me all that last night to prepare me for what he wants to do to me...if he has plans to do something to me? I'm beginning to think he has teamed up with Nick and I don't know what to believe anymore.

I had my eyes closed but I could tell Harry was standing in front of me. He sat down on the coffee table that sits in front of the couch, making it creak so that he made sure I knew he was there. I opened my eyes and he sat with his hands clasped together in front of his face and his elbows resting on his knees. I shut my eyes again to give him a hint that I didn't care.

"If you would give me a second, please."

"Why should I? What if I say something I shouldn't and this time, you kill me?" I kept my eyes sealed shut, being sarcastic and a tad dramatic just to get my point across.

"Lily! I'd never kill you! Don't be stupid! You know I wouldn't."

I sat up immediately as I heard what he said and frowned.

"How the hell do I know that? I've had my doubts in the past but this is serious Harry! I was actually scared of you." I stared at him waiting for an answer. He looked down at the floor and slowly shook his head.

"I know. I know you've lost some trust with me but we can rebuild this." He grabbed my hands but I pulled away. I didn't want him touching me. The hands that shoved me against the wall in anger are now holding my hands with care...not a pleasant feeling.

"Don't touch me." I blandly spoke.

Harry let out a sigh and sat on the coffee table for a few more seconds then left the room. I laid back down on the couch and closed my eyes, this time letting tears falls. It was inevitable. The boy that I loved to death, and who said he loved me back, got aggressive with me out of nowhere and for no reason. I wiped my eyes in case Harry came back by. I didn't want him to see me cry. He would try to talk to me again and reason with me but I didn't want that. All I needed right now were my thoughts and me.