What We Wish For

Chapter 2

“Look Lea, she just wanted you to talk to us, so we can help you. You know that you don’t have to yell.” Nate tells me sternly before putting more food in his mouth. After they became mates he started being even more protective over Maggie, something I hadn’t thought possible, especially not towards me, but he was right. I did feel a little jealous over the fact, that they are mates, and he is there for her no matter what. Plus it does, from time to time, get on my nerves that they are always on the same side. Even though they act like one person instead of two individuals now, I know they would still always be there for me when I need them.

“I know. I’m sorry Mag I just…I just really don’t feel like myself at the moment. I didn’t mean to yell at you. You guys are so sweet making me breakfast and all.” I say pointing at the food and moving it around my plate.

“It’s okay Lea, I don’t know how you feel, I can only imagine. If Nate were to leave me, I would die. I really feel for you. Are you sure you want to go to school today? We can stay home and do whatever you want.” Maggie offers. Nate looks up at me, and nods.

“No Mag, I don’t want to let him bring me down like that. I want to show him that I don’t need him and that I’m fine without him.” I tell her as I eat the last of my pancake. Then, I got up to take a shower and get ready for class.  I pull my hair up in a ponytail, put on a t-shirt, and some jeans. I walk out of my room and run to our car where Nate is waiting.

Nate looks me over and smiles at me. “If you need anything today and I’m not beside you, you just call okay?” He says sternly.

“Don’t worry. Both you and Maggie will be around me all day. I already know that,” I answer, rolling my eyes at him. I was glad they would be around me all day; I’m just not in the mood to show it. I am not fond of relying on people. I never have been, but if I had to ask for help, it would be these two I would ask to help me.

“Good. But Lea, you really do look tired today,” He says looking concerned. I let out a sigh, staring at nothing in particular through the window.

“I just had a nightmare again last night,” I say quietly. Maggie and Nate know about my nightmares and how I can’t sleep because of them, but I have never told them what they are about. I haven’t told anyone. My secrets about my past are just that, secrets; and I don’t want anyone to know how damaged I really am. If it were revealed, even those two wouldn’t look at me the same way, I’m sure.

“Oh. Lea you know I think you are beautiful, and I know you have a beautiful body; so why are you hiding it under all those clothes? I mean, if you tried to put on some clothes that showed how beautiful your body is, and took your hair down; Jake might just change his mind.” He says nervously while scratching his neck.

“Thanks, Nate, but I’m nothing special, and I don’t really have anything extra ordinary to show. But even if I had, I don’t want him to like me for my body. I don’t want him if he only likes me for how I look. As long as I can remember, I have always had clothes that were too big.” I tell him, stopping the conversation.

I know I’m not fat, but I don’t like wearing clothes that show off my curves. The first time I had ever gotten special clothes was when I turned 16. Dana tried to get me to dress in clothes that were my size, but I have always had hand-me-downs, it’s what I feel comfortable in. Dana relented after I agreed to only one outfit that I scarcely wore.  When Maggie started using make up, she tried to help me as well, but I just thought I looked weird. Plus this way, boys don’t notice me and stay away.