Not so perfect but is love enough? (SEQUAL) COMPLETED

Part 25 ~

It had been fifteen minutes and Josh's eyes still sparkled with tears. His arm wrapped around the lower half of my waist as if he was affraid that if he let go i would forget, that i was only his when he had ahold of me. I wasn't going to slip away. Not this time, besides i knew Josh would catch me if i falled.

"What are you thinking about?" Josh asks quietly. His chin resting on my head so i could feel his jaw as he talked. Sitting up slightly i turn on my side, resting my head on my arm so i could see Josh. Copying my actions, Josh does the same.

"Just, trying to put things into place" i reply truthly.

"What do you mean?" he asks, cocking his head slightly. The lights in the sky lit up Josh's face in the most beautiful way. His eyes sparkled and his features were more prominent than before. It was honestly beautiful. He was the most beautiful person. Inside and out.

"Life. Memories." i say, watching the way Josh's lip sucks in slightly. "It's wierd you know?" i question.

Josh just smiles at me trying to make sense of things, "Not really, it was a bit vague" he laughs so i swat his chest.

"I just- i feel like my memory is clouded. I see a face in a certain senario- but sometimes i don't feel like i'm there too" i try to explain, rolling over onto my back and closing my eyes. "It- It's just hard to dertimine what was a dream and what is real." 

I feel Josh's hand slowly stroke my head, making me feel slightly like a lost puppy andI laugh at the thought.

"What? What are you laughing at now? a memory or dream?" Josh questions and i open my eyes only to roll them, looking up into his grinning face.

"Don't take the piss out of me-"

"I'm not taking the-"

"pft, yeah right" i laugh causing josh to roll his eyes.

Closing my eyes i rethink my words. Yes it was true. I know i remember Josh, i've seen him in too many vivid memories now for them to only be dreams. 

A few minutes pass and i hear Josh sigh. "I feel like i'm dreaming" he barely whispers, and i have to rethink his words over in my head before replying.

"What do you mean?" i ask, almost scared of hearing the answer.

"I feel like this is to good to be true" he states and i feel my heart literally stir at his words. God i'm sorry. I feel like i let him down. Turned him slightly insane as he waited for me. The ammount of pain i had put him through made me feel sick. 

Opening my eyes i look up at him. His jaw is clenched and he breathes heavily, trying to regain himself as we talk about this. Slowly he turns his gaze to me, our eyes immediantly lock. I didn't need to talk, hug him, kiss him. His eyes held enough emotion to last me a life time.

"I just- if this is a dream- please- just don't wake me up" he says slowly. 

Taking a deep breathe i blink a few times, trying to get rid of the tears in my eyes. "i won't-" i promise, leaning forward i peck his nose, and he closes his eyes at my touch. "but this is josh- this is real" i whisper, hearing josh let out a shaky breathe. "i love you so much Josh. Your laugh. Smile." i say closing my eyes as josh tightens his grip around my waist. "Your ability to cheer me up. Calm me. The way you make my heart flutter." i smile, "your strength. Through everything."

"I love you too! Everthing about you!" he says, returning the peck on my nose. "You know, my mum used to tell me and my brother that whatever we are waiting for- peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance- it will surely come to us. But only when we are ready to recieve it with an open and grateful heart." he says slowly, making me linger to his every word.

"Now i finally understand what it means.."

I was lost for words. I could only keep watching at Josh, as his eyes never left mine. He only ever faultered when he was nervous. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah.. to love someone is a beauty. But to love someone so much you would take a bullet for them in a heartbeat- that's something i can never explain to someone else. Anyone other than you."

Within a heartbeat, Josh's eyes fluttered from mine to the floor and back to mine. Faulter?

"and i want to spend the rest of my life with you"

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I'm in the middle of my mocks and loads of course work at the moment, so it might be another week until i update. After that it should be back to normal.

If anyone has watched the runner runner trailer please could you message me and just tell me what you thought? I don't want to start posting until i know i have a few people that will read it. 

Thanks:) Lots of love xx