Not so perfect but is love enough? (SEQUAL) COMPLETED

Part 7 ~

Livia's POV:

"What do you mean she said she loved you?" A voice said, waking me up from what seemed like a restless sleep.

"I mean she said that just before she fell asleep" another voice said, adding to the conversation. This voice seemed much closer than the other one.

"What? she just said it?" A woman's voice said.

"Jen-" a male voice groans, almost as if they were tired of hearing it. Who were they even talking about?!

"I'm just saying don't get your hopes up, she was on a lot of medication, you were extremely tired and-"

"Why's that so hard for you to believe Jen? Why are you being so negative about all of this-"

"Josh I'm not being negative! I'm being realistic-" Just the mention of his name brings everything back and I feel my body shudder slightly with shock. The movement causes some sort of beeping to occur on a machine next to me, and I feel a hand tighten around my own.

"What's happening? Is she ok? is it-" Josh's voice is interrupted by what I assume is a nurse, as the beeping disappears.

"Honey don't worry, she is completely stable"

I feel the hand relax slightly as I try to open my eyes. My eyelids feel more heavy than usual making it harder than it should be. Gradually I see the room around me taking shape.

"Livia- your- your awake" Josh stutters next to me, once again jumping out of his seat but not letting go of my hand which I'm grateful for.

"I'll just give you some privacy" the nurse says quickly before exiting the room.

"Are you ok? How are you feeling? Does it-"

"Josh I'm fine!" I suppress a laugh as he worries. I know that seems mean but I can't help it.
Looking over towards the door I notice someone else in the room. The girl from yesterday. The one who shouted at Josh. She doesn't say anything, just stares at me, a pained yet confused expression on her face. She steps closer, and I can see josh watching me out of the corner of my eye, making me feel more uncomfortable.

"Hi-" she says timidly, raising her hand in a friendly gesture.

"Hi" I reply quietly as she watches my face.

"I'm Jennifer, but- but call me- Je-" she chokes on her own words as she breaks down in to tears. Her hand goes to cover her face as she tries to wipe them away but it doesn't work. And of course all I can do is sit there in shock..

"I'm- I'm sorry-" she stutters, giving me a small smile as she rushes out the room.

As soon as the door swings shut I turn to josh, "what happened? Did I do something wrong-"

"No, no of course you didn't!" he says, a just as pained expression on his face. "she just, well it's just- it's hard to explain" he settles on his answer, studying my reaction.

"I wanted to help" I whisper, staring at my lap "to stop her crying. I just didn't know how to- I was just so confused-"

"It's not your fault!" he says seriously, rubbing my arm soothingly.

I sit there for a while, not saying anything. Despite josh saying its not my fault I can tell that whatever it is.. its going to be my fault!

"Who is she?" I finally say, plucking up enough courage.

"Jen- she was a friend- you were, well you were really close" josh catches on to my question, referring to the 'before the accident' gesture I discretely made. I nod my head, continuing to stare at my lap. The silence was almost deafening.

Breaking away the gaze from my bed sheets, I turn my head towards josh, who's staring straight back at me. His chin is stubbly from not shaving in a while, and his bottom lip is quivering. His brown eyes are glistening, not in the way they should be though.. but instead with tears. Massive bags form grey shadows under his eyes-

"How long have you been here josh?" I ask quietly.

"Two days. Since the day they brought you here-"

"Have you slept at all?" I ask but he doesn't reply, just stares straight into my eyes. "have you?" I ask again, this time getting a shake from his head. No.

"Get some sleep-"

"No, I can't do that-"

"Josh it's unfair and-"

"No" he argues back again, and I have a feeling I'm not going to win this one. "your awake now," he says quietly, "maybe I'll try to sleep when you sleep again"

His voice is weak, and the hand that he's not holding onto mine with is trembling as he speaks.

"Good afternoon Livia" Doctor Mason steps into the room, snapping me from Josh's intense stare.

"Afternoon?"

"Yes, it's past three in the afternoon. Don't worry about this sort of thing, it's the effects of the medication" he replies smiling. "I just came quickly to see how you were doing and collect some papers" he says, walking over to a stand where a large pile of documents sat.
"Sorry for interrupting your-"

"No not at all" I reply hastily but I can't help but feel he was talking to josh more than me.
Why though?

"I'll check on you later" Doctor Mason says smiling which I return as he hurries towards the door, papers in hand. As soon as the door clicks shut I turn my gaze back to josh who seems to of taken a interest in his lap, purposely avoiding eye contact.
He knew what was coming..

"Josh-"

"Yeah?" he asks slowly.

"What- what were-" I stutter. There was no good way of saying this- "what were you to me?" I ask as steadily as I can. Since yesterday when he came in, since he told me he loved me- I couldn't help but wonder what he 'meant' to me before the accident.

Josh sighs, moving his gaze from his lap into my eyes. "we were- erm- well you were- we were in a relationship."

What? It was a strange feeling being told you were in a relationship with the person you thought you had only known a day or two.

"Were we still going out when it- when it happened?" I ask nervously. I already new the answer, and the nod of his head confirmed it. So technically we were still going out. "Be truthful with me-" I say, making him look me, the eyes that he was trying so hard to avoid, "how do you feel about all this?"

"Are you kidding me?" he sighs putting his head in his hands, "do you mean about the accident or the relationship?" he asks steadily.

"Both" I barely whisper. I knew this was hard for him but I needed to know. He sighs again, and I notice a small tear mark on his jeans where the tear fell.

Well, I'm worried for you. It- it really hurts me to see you like this" he speaks a lot slower than before. "Confused- upset, distraught- angry?" he says almost as a question.
"And our- our relationship-" more tear marks form on his jeans so I reach over and put my hand on his neck.

"It's ok, you don't have to tell me-" I say, trying to sooth him as his back rises and falls, taking deep breathes to stop himself from crying. As soon as he seems to be calmed again, I move my hand from his touch. Closing my eyes I try to take everything in.
Being told this- it was hard! I guess it all came down to trust, and I have no idea why but I did. I did trust josh. At the moment I had no reason not to-

"Could you- can you-" I just needed to come out and say it, "tell me a little about, you know, us?" I ask shyly. I can feel Josh's intense gaze on me again and so i squeeze my eyes tightly. It's like neither of us can look at the other while asking such personal questions.

"We met in November." he says slowly, his voice shaky as he recalls memories. "You kind of fell on me-" he laughs slightly and I can't help but smile. I was always clumsy. "That was in London. On- on your last day there I took you to the zoo, and then we went on the big wheel when it was dark."

Wow. I open my eyes and turn to look at him. "It really did sound like the perfect relationship.."

Josh swallows hard, rubbing his hand across his forehead. "You would think" he says softly.
What did he mean by that?

I try to sit up, but I feel my strength give up against me as I slump back down on to the pillows.
"Here-" josh says standing up. After all this time he finally lets go of my hand, replacing it on the small of my back guiding me up.

"I obviously feel stronger than I am-" I try to lighten the mood as he moves my pillows to support my back.

"You were always strongly spirited" he says, and for the first time I notice that he's smiling. He's smiled before, but only to reassure me everything was ok. This time he was smiling. This memory hadn't caused him pain. He was smiling. And it was beautiful!

A small knock sounds on the door, breaking the moment we shared when neither of us were feeling so much pain-

"I'm sorry for interrupting you again" Doctor Mason says apologetically, stepping into the room and holding the door open. "but there's someone here to see you"





AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ:

Sorry it's late up, I've been really busy starting college.

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