Not so perfect but is love enough? (SEQUAL) COMPLETED

Part 4 ~

Josh's POV:

"She's awake"

The lump in my throat seems to dissolve back into nothing, and i feel my heart beat returning to its almost original state. I honestly felt like a crane had just lifted a tonne of bricks from shoulders from the relief from those words gave me.

I can feel the corners of my mouth slowly tilt up into a small smile, but the pang in my heart stays. The guilt.  I needed to hear it from her lips first, that she was ok.

"Can i- can i-" why couldn't i even speak?

"see her?" Dr Mason finished my sentence and i nod my head.

"We need to do a couple of routine check ups first before you go in, shouldn't take any more than five minutes" he says.

Five minutes? Yeah to most people that doesn't seem like a lot, but to me it was everything!!

I hadn't seen Livia for over six weeks, and now that something terrible had happened to her i felt like years had been added to the time! Five minutes. Just five minutes. 300 seconds. 300 seconds until i see that beautiful face of hers. Even if the pain was still noticeable on her face, oh what the heck if that plane cashed had caused one of her legs to blow off and scars visible all over face then i would still think she was beautiful. Just her personality would shine through anything.

I feel Jen gently squeeze my shoulder reassuringly as i wait for the time to pass. Standing next to her hospital room only meters away from her is just as painful as finding out the news about the accident. Knowing how close she is, how much i want to comfort her. Hold her in my arms, kiss her lips, just tell her how much i loved her. My heart throbbed for it.

"You can come in now" Dr Mason appears in the door way, followed by two nurses behind him. I'm glad they were leaving the room, giving us some privacy. "We will be just outside if there are any problems" he says before sitting down on one of seats in the corridor.

I try to step forward to enter the room but something stops me. Not Physically but mentally, and to be truthful i have no idea what. To see Livia is the thing i wanted most in the world.

"Josh" Jen says hesitantly behind me, "do you want me to come in with you?"

I quickly shake my head, pushing the wall away that was stopping me from seeing her. Maybe i was just nervous. I have no idea why.

I take a step forward; the movement i made seemed to calm my nerves, making me even more anxious to see her. My breathe quickens as well as my pace as i walk towards the room, pushing the door to-

And there she was. I felt my breathe hitch just looking at her. The amount i cared for her was more than i ever thought you could possibly care for someone.

Her body was tucked beneath white, neat blankets. One of her arms had a small tube in, leading to a large case of liquid making me feel uneasy. Part of her head had a small bandage wrapped around it. Her lips were slightly parted as her chest fell slowly up and down, giving me goosebumps. Her eyes, watching as i watched her. I have no idea how, but despite what she had been through, she could still wake up in a hospital bed and be so so beautiful.

"Livia-" i feel my voice betray me as it cracks.

"Yes-" she barely whispers, but her voice pushes me over the edge as i walk towards her. When i reach the side of her bed i look down at her frail hand, the silver promise ring i gave her sitting so perfectly on her finger. I lace my fingers with hers, ignoring the questioning look she gave me. I bring her hand slowly up to my lips, pecking them gently. The rush just from her skin against my lips gave me goose bumps and i tried to blink away the tears.

"Livia- I'm so sorry-" i blurt out, not being able to keep it in any longer as i wrap my arms around her neck hugging her.

"what- what are you doing-" she jumps, pulling back from me, nothing but fear evident in her eyes.

"What do you mean?" i ask unsure, "Livia I'm so sorry this ever happened to you, i love you so-"

"You love me?" she interrupts me, letting go off my hand, her own shaking.

"Of course i do Livia, i- i loved you since the first day i met you" i say, "Livia whats going on, your scaring me-"

"I'm scaring you!!" She blurts out, trying to get as much space between us as possible. I back away slightly, the lump reforming in my throat as my heart drops at her next words.

"Who the hell are you?!"

I feel everything slow down as she starts to cry. Nurses rush into the room attempting to calm her down but she won't stop. Dr Mason runs into the room as well, checking her blood pulse and trying to sooth her.

"What the hell did you say Josh!" Jen says, following after the others, pushing me back.

"Nothing- i- i didn't-"

"Oh just save it" she shouts angrily as one of the nurses tries to aid me from the room. I'm too worried to fight back. I can't bring myself to look away from Livia.

"Get out!" Jen shouts, giving me one final push into the corridor, shutting the door behind her. "What the hell did you say Josh, after everything she's been through! To make her cry like that i just-"

"I told her i love her" i barely whisper as the tears well up in my eyes. Jens eyes meet mine, confusion obvious on her face. "I told her i love her" i repeat myself slowly, "then she-"

"she what?" Jen says a little more calmly than before.

"Then she- she" i can't bring myself to say it. I felt like someone had just stabbed my heart with a million knives. The crane had released the tonne of bricks over me, knocking me to the floor.

The girl i love doesn't know who i am anymore.