Best Friends or Best Lovers // h.s.

Chapter Fifty One

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Best Friends or Best Lovers

Chapter Fifty One

Lola

I glanced over at Kiki who was sitting at the couch, carefully listening to what Harry was telling her. I leaned my head on the doorframe and bite my lip, was I really going through with this?

Leaving Kik for a few months so I could get better. Leaving Niall and not telling him I was sick, to be MIA for months and making him worried sick?

I shrugged these thoughts of my shoulders and got tackled into a hug by Eleanor. "Are you really going through with this?" She whispered in my ear and I nodded in response. "I can't bare myself to tell Niall I am sick.. I don't wanna give him these worried thoughts about me that I might die and all that crap. I just wanna be healthy, so that he doesn't have to worry about me. I don't want him to worry about me, do you get that? I love him so so much, I don't want to cause him any more pains than I already have," I mumbled softly, Eleanor tighten her grip around me.

"I understand love, just do what you think is right okay? Make sure you call me every single day, alright?" I nodded and pressed my lips on her cheek. "I will, can you tell Danielle for me? I know she has a lot on her mind since she and Liam broke up but she's still my best friend, she needs to know," We let go of our hug and I immediately got embraced by Louis.

I rolled my eyes and hugged him back. "Don't go all sassy over me Louis. This is what I want, this is what I need to do for myself. Not for Harry or Niall, just for me," I spoke up, pushing him away from me and glancing at Kiki again, who was still listening to Harry. I wondered what he was telling her.

"Can you two promise me to look after Kiki, you are her godparents after all and she loves you extremely much. Kik will be with Niall a lot but as you know he does have a life besides our relationship so you will have to take care of her," Eleanor smiled and grabbed my hand and tightly squeezed it.

"We love her dearly, I will take care of her as she is my own child. I promise you that Lola," I sweetly smiled back at her.

"Our plan is that Harry stays with me the first month for sure, we will go from there with the rest of our plan. If I am okay enough to be without his support he can go back and maybe I can have you or Dani with me for a week or so. I will call and update every day if I can, if not Harry will make sure that you are updated," I informed them, wrapping my arms around my small body - trying to hold myself together before I leave.

We all turned our heads to see Kiki throwing a fit at the bad news Harry just told her. He wrapped his long arms around her, trying to keep her calm and preventing she is having a panic attack or so. "Are you really sure you don't wanna take her along?" I shook my head, tears falling down on my arms as I did. "Niall will be more broken if we both would leave, it is better I go without her. I don't want her to see me fall apart, she is too young for that," I murmured, burying my face in Louis his neck as he embraced me again.

"There are just a few people who can know about this," I hiccupped as Louis stroke my hair to calm me down a bit. "Harry, his mother and sister, you two and Dani. Please make sure it doesn't come out okay?" They both promised me and I let go of Louis his body. "Tell Niall I am sorry and that I love him so much," I said before Kiki interrupted us.

"I HATE YOU!" The almost six year old screamed at me.

~

I let my body fall on my couch in my LA house. It was good to be back but there would be down affects about this. I just had a long flight and a rough appointment with my doctor behind my back.

I had to come in tomorrow morning at 04.00 A.M. I felt somehow empty, like a hole in my body. Questions running through my mind making me go insane.

I let out a loud groan. Was this the right decision? Would I be okay? Where would this leave Harry and me? Will Niall still love me if I come home? Will Kiki forgive me or will she continue to hate me?

I didn't realise I was shaken when Harry gently touched my cheek. "I am here, you are okay now," He reassured me.

"Niall went bonkers on me. Are you sure you don't want him to know?" Harry said just above a whisper. "No no," I rushed the words and jumped up from the couch.

"I told you, he can't know!" I shrieked out, pulling my hair as he watched me intensely. "Lola.. It's okay," He muttered, taking my hands away from my hair and unfolding the two fists that came.

Finger for finger, making me feel a little bit relaxed. "I understand, okay? I do. But Niall doesn't, he's very worried and extremely mad why you left all of a sudden. Do you understand? Do you get that?" Harry slowly told me, nodding my head at his words.

"He won't understand this if you don't explain it to him, alright?" I closed my eyes and tried to think away the annoying thoughts that were popping up into my head. I furiously shook my head and aggressively pulled back my hands.

"Harry. No. He doesn't get it. He won't understand this. He should stay out of this mess until it fades away, is that clear?" I breathed out, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Lola, stay calm," I pulled my hair and sat on my knees. Tears rolling down over my face out of the nowhere. Why was I acting like this?

I wrapped my arms around my knees and muttered questions to myself. Was I turning mental already? Before it even started?

Harry kneeled down in front of me and took my face in his large hands. "It will be okay, do you trust me?" He asked me as I nodded, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Then trust in me it will be okay, can you do that?" I nodded again, letting go of my legs and throwing my arms around him. "I don't want to go mad Harry.. I don't want to feel like this.." I whispered to him.

"I know, I know," Harry replied as he stroke the back of my head. "I am here, it will be okay," He reassured me, rubbing my back and kissing the top of my head.

"It will all be alright," I muttered, closing my eyes and trying to focus on these words. I was going mad already, this was bad.