Best Friends or Best Lovers // h.s.

Chapter Fifty Nine

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Best Friends or Best Lovers

Chapter Fifthy Nine

Lola

After the fight and the drama and the panic attack everyone was finally calmed down. Niall had left to run some arrands because he didn't want to be around us, Zayn and Perrie took Kiki to buy her an ice-cream in the city while the others stayed in with me.

Liam was really concerned, bout everything basically. I did talk and tried to explain some things what Harry said earlier. They were all supporting, calm and caring towards me, because they stayed - not like Niall who ran off.

"I knew she wasn't around but not that she died because of this illness.." Louis muttered, he was still sitting next to me on the couch. His arm laying carefully around my shoulder, trying to be the elderly and take care of me.

I smiled to myself, I never thought in the beginning that we would grow so close to each other. I think we grew even much closer when he came with El to take care of me in LA.

"It drives me insane and scared out of my mind that I might be dying of the same stupid cause," My breath hitched, if only they knew she killed herself before the illness could.

It was the summer I turned five when Harry and I noticed something changed my mother. We were only five year old, well Harry was still four at that time, but we knew something was different.

Lucy, my mum, was already sick and she did explain that to me and my best buddy. But she said she would stay golden for me. But that summer she changed, she started to be off, not noticing things more often, starting to lose her memory.

It got worse and worse and by the time it was Christmas she already tried to kill herself atleast two more times but failed because my brother called for an ambulance. It was a terrible but odd feeling to know at your fifth that your mother wants to die.

"Lola, I will help you start packing now, we need to be leaving in an hour to the office where they will pick us up," Harry said, giving me a hand so I could stand up.

Harry carried my tank while Eleanor held my arm as we walked up the stairs. I would only go to two city's with them, leaving the day after their last concert in Dublin.

While Harry stuffed all my stuff I took to the house in my suitecase, El helped me to change into my black leggings, a black lacey bra and an overside black shirt of Harry's.

Since I was way to exhausted Eleanor did try to comb my hair but stopped after a few seconds. "I.. I can't do this Lola.." She placed her hand on my shoulder, I placed mine on top of hers and smiled through the window to her.

"Just put some gell over it, it needs to be out of my face so I can wear the beanie," El nodded and put some gell in my hair, softly combing it backwards with her long fingers.

With a few minutes she was set on my make-up and we were ready to go down stairs with Harry. "Hey twin, we should take a photo though," Harry stated as we walked down to the others.

"I just realised I looked exactly the same as you now, even the beanies match," I laughed and I sat down on the couch. Kiki was back from her quicky ice-cream trip and she sat down next to me, her head placed down on my lap.

"You tired now love?" I asked her, she moved her head so she could face me. "Yes, can I sleep in your arms on the tourbus?" She asked and I nodded. "Of course you can,"

I brushed through her hair with my fingers, finally I felt a bit okay and calm today after all the drama this morning. But that was interupted quite fast when Niall returned home and appeared in front of us.

"Eh hey.." He stammered, kneeling down next to me and Kik, kissing the top of Kik's nose. "Hey," I simply replied back, he rested his head against my knee. "Kik, why don't you go show everyone your new stuffed animals I got you from my fans. I am sure they would love to see," I spoke up and she shot up.

"Omg Louis, you must come! I even got a carrot! Come, come!" She pulled him and Eleanor up the stairs while the others slowly followed them. Harry lingered in the room a few minutes longer, but I raised my eyebrow and mouthed I would be fine.

Niall rested his face entirely on my knee now, his hands over my lap as he sighed deeply. "I don't know where to begin.. Where to begin to apologise.." He mumbled, I reached for his long blonde hair.

It has gotten so long since the last time I saw him. He must has forgotten to ask Lou to cut it for him. "I-I am s-so sorry m- my love," Niall whimpered, I felt the tears soaking my legging. I let my fingers go through his hair like I used to, softly brushing through it as he mumbled more apologies.

"I-I don't know how t-terrible you must f-feel now.. I.. I just wanted t-to protect you," He cried, my fingers moved over to his face tilting it up so I could see him. "You probably w-would never forgive me a-after this.." I slightly smiled down at him.

"Come here," Nially sowly got up at embraced me, his strong arms going around my body like they normally would. I knew I made the right decision back then, eventhough I doubted that this morning.

His face was burried inside the croak of my neck, crying so hardly he could barely stop shaking. "I thought I-I lost you.." I clutched my arm tighter around his back as my other arm was wrapped around his neck, my fingers holding onto the back of his head.

"I still love you Ni, I always will," I breathed against his skin, my own tears rolling down my face now. "I will n-never let you go," He cried into my neck.

This nearly broke my heart. "I am here now love, I won't let you go," "I love you Lola," He muttered against my skin before pulling away. He softly pressed his lips against mine, I missed this.

I kissed back, pulling him as close as possible. "I love you, I won't let you go either," He breathed against my lips, he stood up and a pout formed on my lips.

"I will go talk to Harry now, we need to get going soon anyway," I sighed, I wasn't really in the mood for the fans this afternoon. I just wanted to go sleep, but I couldn't yet.

We were going to drive all the way to Cardiff so the boys could start signing things already for the M&G in the tourbus. Later tonight they also had to come to a Radio station in Cardif, to promote and meet two fans who won the fan competition.

We would have a big dinner with the entire group, the band included so we could celebrate I was home - even when it was just for a week. It seemed nice to be out again, together with all my friends.

Later that hour I was settled on the most softest couch I had ever sat on, I was wrapped in blankets and had a notepad on my lap and a pen in my hands. "Lola, you okay back there?" Louis yelled all the way from the kitchen.

"Only if you bring me back a hot chocolate!" I yelled back, patting Kiki's shoulder who sat next to me watching some childs serie. "We are out! Okay stop! Everyone freeze!" Louis yelled walking into the living room section from the buss.

"What?!" Zayn said, pretty annoyed. "We are out of hot chocolate! Who drank the last bit?!" Kik chuckled next to me. "You did silly!" Louis frowned and ran to the front of the bus.

"We will stop at the next Starbucks aside the road!" I rolled my eyes and got back to work, I was trying to write some songs.

Now I had plenty of time for it. Maybe some day when I will be cured I could record them for a new album.

I would've loved that.