Crimson Eyes [Akashi Seijuuro x OC Fanfiction]

Reunion

'Something is running wrong with me.

In the end I always give in to all his orders, even if it hurts me the most but the worst of all...

... I am still loving him'

It took me three weeks. Three weeks before I finally reached the point at which I didn't care about something so irrelevant like pain.

I finally reached the point where I could make a clear decision. A decision that hopefully would change my situation because I was already sick of only talking to my friends and family via phone, sick of being isolated of them. I walked straight to my room after the last lesson for today. Now was the best moment to got in action. I had almost one hour until Seijūrõ would usually come home.

My whole body moved on its own and ended next to the desk. While I stood there, my hands reached out for the knob of the drawer opened it and took something back to the surface that were hidden in the drawer for almost three weeks.

Slowly uncertain clouded my mind but I shook my head to get rid of the questions that slowly spread inside me.

While walking to the next bathroom which was Seijūrõs, I rolled up the sleeve of my right arm, revealing the almost invisible scar.

The closer I got to the bathroom the tighter became the grip around the handle if the knife, turning the rose nuance on my knuckles in a white shade.

'Should I really do this?

... No, I will!

I have too!

I want to visit my family and this is the best way to show him that I already understand.

If that's what he wants then I gladly do it myself before he had to force himself to do it again.

The expression he had the last time as he inspected my arm, it was concern. Concern that he had to reopen the injury again to finally leave a visible mark.

But...

... I won't let him fall deeper in his sin. If Seijūrõ turns back someday he won't forgive him for the rest of his life. I can't let this happen...

...I can't!'

I reached the bathroom and without hesitation I entered it and headed to the washbasin.

One last time I took a deep breath.

'You can do it...

... you can't withdraw. Not yet...

... not anymore' I tried to stay confident as the cold blade of the knife rested on the scar once again.

The memory of my last experience with this knife sneaked back in my consciousness. My left hand started shaking and the knife was loosely moving to the sides.

'I need to calm down.

In a few moments everything is done' One more time I breathed out deeply to calm down once again.

I hold my right arm above the washbasin and with the next exhale I pressed the sharp tip of the knife deep in my skin.

An immediately hiss escaped my mouth and I flinched because of the pain, but now there was no opportunity to back off.