Crimson Eyes [Akashi Seijuuro x OC Fanfiction]

An unexpected gift

"I really dislike it... No, I hate it!"

But there was nothing for me to do to change it. Accepting it was my only option, but that was probably the most difficult challenge.

The new dug treatment gave me a few more weeks until my condition worsened so fast that my doctor forbid my attendance at school. He said I shouldn't force myself too much and adviced I should rest as much as possible.

'Seriously, as if I could rest properly with the fear that I won't be able to live a normal life again...

... a life where I could move my body without becoming dyspnea and panic attacks...

... a life where I won't have to take those drugs that sometimes leaves side affects like nausea or dizziness...

... a life in which I could do whatever I want to do...

... a life without making those I love to worry...

... a life where I don't have to be afraid that any moment could be my last...'

But the most frustrating thing was that after death I would leave behind Seijūrõ and I was sure his already broken personality would be tattered even more than now. But at this moment I couldn't do the slightest to change it.

Right now I was practically chained to my bed and I really couldn't do much. Only allowed from time to time to transfer into the wheelchair but this depends on my condition.

Seijūrõ who had finally calmed down was the only person who treated me normally and without looking at me with those eyes full of pity as everyone else does and I was really grateful about it. He even informed my family about my current condition and this was strangely enough to make me worry about him.

The moment my family were informed about my disease they couldn't be reassured that a visit would be unnecessary. My grandma and Shiro came all the way from Tatsuno to Kyoto and stayed for the weekend in a hotel close to the mansion, although Seijùrõ insisted that they could stay here. But my grandmother didn't wanted to become a burden. The most thing that surprised me except of Seijūrõs slightly changed behavior was that even Mom and Shuzo came the long way from America to Japan just because of my condition. Their visit lasted almost two weeks. Although I couldn't move freely and was mostly sitting in bed or in the wheelchair for those two weeks I felt really alive. On one day we even could go sightseeing.

To be honest I was glad to were able to have seen them again, they showed me pictures where they were currently living and pictures of my Dad whom treatment already showed success. Mom said if the progress of Dad's health continues they would be able to return to Japan in about two years. My mood was lifted for a few days after their departure before I fall back into my tryst life.

Along with the change of season came the bad news that my doctor don't see any chance for me to live on without putting my name on the transplantation list for a new heart. But who knows if I would be able to get one. The weeks showed that  someone's name stood always above mine and needed the heart more or even if nobody was above my name they couldn't find a heart that met the requirments.

On my good days I could manage to walk for almost 15 minutes straight before I got so much out of breath that I had to sat down and use an asthma inhalator to open up my bronchiols. Even if I used a low pace I always ended up the same. It was an constantly up and down. Sometimes I got pulmonary edema because of the lack of cardiac output. But despite all of this I had good moments that were worth to remember as well.