LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 1

The Conflict of Struggle

By Anonymous

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It was just after winter, in the middle of the school year. I had gained internet friends over Christmas break, and had become very close to them. Many of then weren't straight. Many were pan, bi, gay, lesbian, transgender.

I had been having a problem lately. I felt like I liked my best friend, but kept pushing it away. I live in a heavily religious community, and they aren't the most accepting. But these friends, they were so much different. They were open and accepting. Finally, I figured out I wasn't straight, but was still very confused.

When I finally figured it out, I decided to tell my mom, who isn't exactly supportive of the non "norm". She had picked me up from school, and I told her. It was fine, until she went researching when we got home. She came out while I was doing my chores, " it's a sexual preference. You're only 15. How do you have one?" And then started crying, asking how she was supposed to tell my dad. She took my phone, and found messages between me and my friend about our feelings. She asked if that's why I was like this, to "fit in."

I go to therapy for depression and anxiety, so she made me tell my therapist. She helped me understand a lot.

Up-to-date, I am not allowed to tell anyone besides my dad (he still doesn't know) until after I graduate, have come to terms with my feelings, instead have moved on and have a wonderful (but secret) relationship with my internet girlfriend, and have almost slipped and telled my grandma I am bi, as to me, it's an everyday normal thing. I still deal with the pain of how my mom reacted, and how some of my family would if they found out.