LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 1

Religion Against Beliefs, Family Against Feelings.

By Ali

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Hi, I am Ali. I consider myself a gender fluid pansexual Mormon. Yes, you've probably heard about us Mormons. Either that whole idea of horns coming out of our heads, or having multiple wives. None of that is true, but what is true is that we don't believe in LGBTQ. At least, most of us. That's a problem for a person like me.

To my closest friends and my sister, I have come out as bisexual. I still don't trust them enough to tell them I am gender fluid, though I am in the process of telling them I am pan. So, born a girl, everyone sees me as a silent ghost when alone, or a clown when with my friends. The two sides of me very rarely collied. Just like the gender fluid side of me has never reached the ears of anyone, until now.

My confidence has grown as I have figured my sexuality and gender identity out, and I think I have finally come to terms with myself. I know what I feel is me, and I don't think being a Mormon is what is best for me. Now, I do know some gays and lesbians who still firmly believe in my church and believe a man and a woman should be together, no matter what they feel. I feel we are who we were born to be, and God created us this way so we could be ourselves. How can a woman keep the role of bearing children if she has no interest in sex, is a lesbian, or does not even feel like she is a female? It is near impossible to hide from your feelings.

My religion wanted no part of who I am, or what I thought. So I want no part of them. I am who I am and that is what I will always be, no matter the consequences. If I get disowned or booted out of my house, I will be fine, because those who do not accept me for me do not really care for me, and so I will not care for them.