He doesn't have the right to do so.
He wished he could resurrect him in place of his own life.
But he still couldn't.
He doesn't deserve to die. He deserves to suffer.
He deserves to mourn.
His knees failed him, causing him to sit.
He has failed himself.
His vow to her.
Eyes travelled down to his ring, that he never once took off, and he remembers how delicate her hands felt against his.
He just cries even harder.
He just cries.
That's all he could do.
He did not need to be strong.
Not even for himself, because no one needed him anyway.
So he'll cry his heart out.
Until his tears run dry.
Until his mouth will finally stop saying sorry.
He crawls, slowly, towards the dusty tomb that had his son's name embossed on it.
And he hugged it.
He hugged it so tight.
"I love you.... my son..... I love you so much...... I'm so so sorry..... if only I could trade my life for yours.... I would do it in a heartbeat."
He heard footsteps, also crunchy leaves being stepped on, but he did not care.
He did not care about anything anymore.
Not even himself.
He lost his senses the day she left.
He lost everything.
"I wish I died instead of you..... I wish you lived and I didn't..... because you deserve so much more....."
He leans his head on the tombstone, still carressing it while tears dampened the texture.
He notices someone standing there, watching him.
"Kathryn......." He wails. "Kathryn.... I'm sorry.... I'm sorry..."
There he was, in front of his first love, in front of the love of his life, almost lifeless and frail.
"I'm sorry...... I would do everything in trade of his life..... I would die...... I would've died for him.... maybe you want me dead, but I deserve the torment and guilt, I deserve to suffer.... "
"And indeed, everyday I do..... I carry the load everywhere I go..... though this is where I spend my life almost..... if this is even called living, still."
He closes his eyes and mind. He shuts down. He did not think anymore.
He just cried. And cried. And cried.
His tears will never run dry.
They won't ever stop coming.
"I love you.... I love you...."
"Mama!"
He stops.
"Ma."
At least she's happy now. At least she has a family of her own.
A son.
He did not look their way.
He did not intend to look.
YOU ARE READING
Fragments - KathNiel One Shots
Fanfiction💙💙💙 Fragments of my thoughts, collected experiences, along with a spur of my imagination, pieced and separated distinctively to form a wide selection of stories, each told by more than a thousand words. All befitting and pointing one love team or...
One Sweet Day
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