Not Ready

≈Chapter XLVI :

"He'll come around, don't worry." I reassured, not sure if what I was saying was actually going to come true. But I knew that he was crazy and drug in love with this girl, so she just had to wait for him to calm down and he'll come around.

Hopefully...

It's true, sometimes love isn't enough. 

"I shouldn't have pressured him like that. He was preparing everything, he had a plan already, but I--"

"Lani, stop doing that, ma. What's done is done and now you just have to be patient and wait to see what's coming next. You tried to call him and apologize, but he doesn't want to talk to you for now, so let him have some alone time and when he'll be ready, he'll back come to you." 

"Dorian, why do you think the argument you witnessed was so huge ? I've been pressuring him for awhile now. I think that uh...maybe he got the ring because...I made him feel like he had to do it." 

"It didn't look like it when we went ring shopping. He seemed so happy to finally do it and he wanted to organize a big thing to make the proposal very special for the both of y'all, but mainly for you, because that's how much your happiness counts for him. Like, I think that you're not aware of it, but this guy would do anything for you. He loves you."

But like I said previously, love is sometimes not enough. RJ looked so pissed off, I'd never seen him like this before. He even left and went only God knows where to relax by himself. He called me once to let me know that he was okay. but except that I didn't speak much to him. This fool posted a picture on Instagram though. It seemed like he was somewhere like Hawaii. I wasn't sure, but the beach from his photo looked so nice. 

"I don't want to lose him, Dorian." She started crying, while we were in Target. We were supposed to be looking for furniture for my new home, but it seemed like we weren't going to do this anymore. 

I took her in my arms and patted her back, "C'mon ! Stop crying. Everything's gonna be alright. He won't just end things like that."

"Why not ? I'm the worst girlfriend in the world." 

"No ! No, no, no, don't say that." 

"Everyday I was asking him about kids, marriage and moving in together and I could tell that it was getting on his nerves, but still I kept asking about all those things." 

I was at a lost of words.

All she was saying was making me think about Docia and how she surprised me with her adoption thing. I felt pressured and rushed, and also trapped. We're simply talking one day --we're not even official just yet-- and then boom she wants to talk about kids the next day. That's how it felt and I didn't like it. It was just one time and RJ was living this kind of feeling for awhile now, so I understood a bit his reaction.

No, I got it a lot.

Totally.

Nobody likes to be pressured. 

"Are you coming to the twins' graduation today ? " I asked after a moment of silence. I didn't know if RJ was going to be there too, but if he was, it was going to be a very awkward day.

"Yes, it's their big day. Plus, I already told Tinashe that I'll help at the party."

"What are you gonna do if..." I trailed off as she looked up at me, pouted and then cried again. I sighed and hugged her tightly, trying to comfort as much as I could. 

We'll need your help today, Lord. 

~*~ Docia ~*~