Not Ready

≈Chapter VIII :

Los Angeles, 

•06/12 {Friday, 3:50 A.M}

~*~ Dorian ~*~

"You're nothing ! You don't deserve to live ! Die ! You're a monster ! You're ungrateful ! You-"

"SHUT UP ! " I screamed not wanting to hear more. Last time, I let him talk and it didn't end too well. This time, I wanted it to be different. I wanted to go in Heaven. I didn't belong to Hell, but each time the devil was getting me. This time I wasn't letting this happen. 

The voice laughed devilishly, sending chills down my spine. It was cold and dark around me, except for that very little light that was showing me to them, the demons. I was scared, so afraid of them that I couldn't move and so run away from here. At this point, I wasn't even sure if I still had a heart in my chest and it was so difficult for me to breath as I wanted to. 

I was so cold. It felt like we were in Winter. I wanted to ask them to give me some clothes, but my mouth didn't want to open and let the words get out. I was only in my boxers. I felt humiliated. I was so embarrassed to be like this before them. 

They should have sensed that since they started laughing uncontrollably. I looked around trying to spot a face, but I was only seeing darkness. Except for that light, that seemed to be smaller now. I couldn't let it go once again without entering in. 

"P...P...Pl-ple-ple-please." I managed to say, only to receive a slap across my face. 

There was a dead silence until I heard this atrocious baritone voice again,  "You're nothing ! Just a piece of shit ! You deserve to DIE ! DIE ! "

I wanted to cry so badly, but I had to stay strong. I couldn't let them see me this weak. It will only give them another opportunity to make fun of me.

I needed to find a way out.

"You're a piece of shit ! Die ! Die ! Die ! And never come back ! Nobody loves you ! NOBODY ! You're a shame ! SHAME ! "

It stopped talking and I saw a chance to try to speak again, "P...Pl-ple-ple-please." I begged attempting to figure something out through that darkness, but it was so hard. And the little light seemed so far from me. I tried to catch it, but my arm wasn't long enough.

"You're NOTHING ! A SHAME ! DIE ! "

"S-st-stop." I covered my ears with my hands, only for them to be taken away from me. After that, I lost my legs, then my arms, chest and stomach, to finish with my mouth. Where did it go ? I needed them all. I immediately began to panic. And more when the light finally abandoned me. 

Now, I was in a complete darkness. I could hear my breath getting heavier and my heartbeat speeding up like if I was running a big marathon. It was too stressful. At any time, I could give up and let the death take me. I couldn't let that happen if the light wasn't there anymore or else I would let them take me with them again. And I didn't want to go with them. They were horrible with me. They loved to torture me, physically and emotionally. They were destroying me. 

And suddenly, a bright light appeared, blinding me until I came face to face with him. I shook my head and tried to run, but then I remembered they took my legs away. I didn't want to be there anymore. I didn't want to face my worst nightmare. 

"YOU KILLED ME ! "

"NO ! NO ! NO ! NO ! " I yelled as tears were flowing on both of my cheeks and sat up. I hugged myself instantly and balanced my body back and forth, while I let my breath slow down. I was sweating, trembling and scared for life.