Not Ready

≈Chapter XXI :

~Los Angeles,

•09/28 {Monday, 2:46 P.M} 

~*~ Dorian ~*~

Was it a way to punish me ? Or to torture me ? Did I really deserve it ? Did my mom really deserve it ? Why was it happening now ? Why ? I couldn't understand what was happening. One moment, everything was good and the next minute my whole world was falling apart. Why ? What did we do for this to happen to us ? Was it because we were being petty towards each other ? Was it God's or the devil's making ? I didn't even know anymore. 

I didn't know what to believe anymore. 

As we were speeding to the hospital, a million of different and crazy thoughts were going through my mind and I was slowly but surely losing it. I was mainly starting to be filled with full of regret for the way I behaved with my own mother. It wasn't normal. I shouldn't have let the situation go this far. It was my fault. I should've just accepted to move on like her and everybody else wanted to, but no, I, Dorian had to be complicated, as usual. 

"Who knows ? " I asked RJ as my right leg was jumping uncontrollably and I began to chew on my nail nervously. I was imagining the worst and it was hurting my heart. The only way I could calm down was to see my mother and make sure that she was okay. 

"My father and mother are out of town, but we'll send them a message later."

"Okay...And why did they call you first anyway ? " I was so worried that I somewhat had to start shit with someone and too bad for my little cousin, he was my target. 

He frowned, "Wh-Do you think it's really the time for your bullshit ?! Dorian, your mom got into a car accident, she's in the hospital, maybe losing her life and you want to fucking argue with me ?! Really ?! "

"I'm her so-"

"ENOUGH ! " Lani yelled in the passenger seat, "Enough ! " She repeated looking at us like we'd just grown two additional heads, "Are you serious right now ? We don't have time for this now ! "

"He started it ! " RJ defended himself pointing me in his rear mirror. 

"I don't care ! You both stop ! I'm tired to play the mom with you two, grow the fuck up ! And Dorian, you better stop taking your anger out on everybody before to take it on the wrong person ! We're all affected by the situation ! Not only you ! "

"It's MY mother though." I added folding my arms and looking out the window. 

Ten minutes later, we were finally pulling in front of the hospital. I didn't even wait for RJ to totally stop the car as I jumped out and ran inside the building. I had to see my mother and make sure that she was still alive. And if she still was, I was going to be better with her; "This is a promise." I told myself going to the reception desk.

"We're busy, like every day, so you won't be-" She started and I rolled my eyes.

"Suzana Willkingston. I'm gonna cause trouble if you don't tell me where she's at NOW." 

She looked me up and down chewing her gum, "I'm not scared, sir." She said fake smiling in my face, what pissed me off and then caused me to grab her neck and pulled her face closer to me, "U-uh-what are yo-" I squeezed staring into her eyes, so she could see that I wasn't playing with her. 

"Dorian, no ! " I heard RJ's voice behind as he got me off the receptionist, "Are you completely insane ? "

"Suzana Wi-Wil-Willkingston, third floor, she's still in the operating room, someone is already there for her, I think uh, I'm not sure." The receptionist told us shaking.