LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 1

Stuck In The Middle

By PollenNAlinah

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Hello, my name's PollenNAlinah, but most people call me Pollen(I know, like the flower.) I'm from the Philippines, and I'm bisexual. 

I was one of those people who didn't know what to pick between two. When my father asks about chocolate and vanilla, I would say both. I never knew that would apply to my sexuality.

I studied at an all girls catholic school. Everyone was friends, but when fifth and sixth grade came, my fellow girls started having crushes on the others, mostly on our jock, who played basketball and was usually MVP at sports events.

I was seatmates with an artist, and pretty soon we became good friends. I started to fall in love with her, and I immediately thought I was lesbian. She hurted my feelings, and someone comforted me.

And her name was Monica.

Monica tried to make me happy, and when my birthday came around, I considered her my best friend, but I was oblivious to know that I was crushing on her. So by the end of the year, while I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack, because we had to sing For Good at the end of the year, when I listened to "I'm Not That Girl", I realized my crush on her. It gave me depression in the summer, and even made me pass out more than thrice. My friends didn't even believe me, because I loved God a lot and I was too feminine, I wasn't even close to vegetarianism.

Remembering my performance in a project last year, Maddie, my fashionista friend, told me to join the theatre of the neighbor school, who was all boys and also catholic. I met this guy called Xavier, and I was faced with a dlemma, since I also had feelings to him like Monica's. I chose Monica all over, and more dilemmas like that came to my life. I kept on choosing Monica, until I met Andre, and I chose him.

I don't have any connections with Andre right now though, and I know deep down inside, Monica's still in my heart.

I'm still somehow confused, but I realized I'm bisexual. The end. :)