Bad Blood {Dean Winchester}

In My Time of Dying-I love you

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys! I hope I did this chapter right for you. Apologies in advance. I've been thinking....because I tend to do every episode and that means the pages will add up, what would you guys suggest? Maybe make new books (Not sequels) That would continue straight away? I don't think a lot of you would continue to read it though.

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Katherine's P.O.V

I stood staring at the door in silence. Something felt wrong. Seriously wrong. I was jostled out of my thoughts when Sam walked into the room, John's journal in his hand."Um, dad wasn't in his room."He said, slowly moving over to sit on the edge of Dean's bed.

I nodded my head, still slightly dazed."Uh, he just-um, he was in here."

"Really?"Sam asked, looking towards the door as if he could see him."What did he say?"

"I.....just some things."I finally answered. I didn't think I should tell him what John said, it seemed personal.

"Things like what?"Sam pushed and I shrugged.

"That he was sorry for being an ass."Was the only thing I revealed. Sam raised both his eyebrows for a second before looking down to the journal in his hands. "Why you got that?"

I had heard the entire speech my dad gave Kat. I never knew she reminded him of my mom. It made sense why he favored her the most and why she meant as much as she did. But I never would have thought he'd admit it out loud. He was a proud, stern man who kept his feelings bottled and hidden behind a hard mask. I learnt from the best after all.

"He left it behind, so who knows? Maybe there's something here."Sam answered, flipping through the pages. I shuffled over and sat beside him to look at it. My eyes wold constantly flicker up to Dean's unconscious body, a nervous habit to check he was okay.

"Yeah. It's worth a try after all."I agreed, smiling in reassurance to Sam. I had to keep reminding myself that the amount of panic and pain I was feeling, wouldn't be anything compared to Sam's. I had to be strong for him.

Walking to stand behind them, I watched their faces. Sam's was filled with determination and hope. Kat's eyes would constantly look over to my body but also up to Sam in worry. It was comforting to know that both of them had my back even when my own father seemed to have no hope."Thanks for not giving up on me, guys." I muttered gently. Sam stopped at a page of Reapers and I double took as a certain piece of information stuck out to me. My eyes went wide and I growled under my breath."Son of a bitch." I stalked out of the room in search of Tessa.

My eyes scanned the page over and over again, trying to read the facts in different ways to see if the outcome would change. Of course it didn't."Sam...there's nothing in there."

"Don't say that. There has to be something."Sam huffed, flicking through the journal quickly to try and find something new. My hand dashed out and stopped him and he turned to me, his eyes watery."I can't give up Kat."

"And I'm not asking you to. We won't give up and we will find a way, Sam. Just not in there."I assured, squeezing his hand gently. He sighed, coughing to get rid of his tears and stood up from the bed.

"I'm gonna go call Bobby and try to find Dad. One of them has to tell me something."Sam informed me and I nodded."Oh, um-these are yours."Sam said, rifling through his pockets before he pulled out my two necklaces and my bracelet. My first genuine smile spread across my face as I reached for them, the cool metal sliding against my skin.

"Thanks Sammy."I whispered, reaching behind to clasp the pendants around my neck. Sam helped me tie the bracelet around my good wrist and smiled.

"No problem."Sam said and moved towards the door.

"Hey, Sam. Tell my Dad that I'm sorry and I'll explain everything when I can."I called out. Sam stopped at the doorway, turning to face me with confusion."He'll know what I mean. Please."

"Of course Kat."Sam smiled and left. I sighed, looking down at the floor. I knew Dean wasn't in here anymore. I had gotten used to the feeling I would get when he was around and so I also knew when he wasn't. It was like a dull ache in my head would go away. I wondered if I concentrated enough, would I be able to hear him again? It always sounded like his voice was trying to break through.

I moved off the bed onto the chair and grabbed his hand with my plastered one, the position becoming all too familiar. My free hand reached up to grip onto the pendant Dean got me for my 13th birthday, the small pentagram offering comfort in the cold room as I thought to myself.

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After some searching, I found Tessa in the Kat's hospital room. She was sat on the edge of the made bed, her clothes changed into a black dress. I couldn't believe that this young woman tricked me for so long.

"Hi, Dean."Tessa muttered, almost expectantly like she knew I was coming.

"You know, you read the most interesting things. For example, did you know that reapers can alter human perception? I sure didn't."I started bitterly, taking deliberate steps into the room towards her."Basically they can make themselves appear however they want. Like, say, uh, a pretty girl. You are much prettier than the last reaper I met."

"I was wondering when you would figure it out."Tessa sighed, watching my movements.

"I should have known. That whole "accepting fate" rap of yours is far too laid back for a dead chick. But the mother, and the body, I'm still trying to figure that one out. "I said, shaking my head at her.

"It's my sandbox, I can make you see whatever I want."She explained, shrugging her shoulders gently.

"What, is this like a turn-on for you? What, toying with me?"I growled, my gaze hardening.

"You didn't give me much choice. You saw my true form and you flipped out. Kinda hurts a girl's feelings. This was the only way I could get you to talk to me."Tessa expressed, her eyes seeming like they looking inside me.

"Okay, fine. We're talking. What the hell do you want to talk about?"I grumbled, gesturing with my arms before allowing them to drop to my sides.

"How death is nothing to fear."She told me softly, getting up from the bed and taking the short steps towards me. Her hand reached up and cupped my cheek before I could even flinch away."It's your time to go, Dean. And you're living on borrowed time already."

I pulled away from her and moved over to the window, staring out into the night."Look, I'm sure you've heard this before, but... you've gotta make an exception, you've gotta cut me a break."I pleaded.

"Stage three: bargaining."Tessa said from behind me. I turned to see her, surprised at the look of sympathy in her eyes.

"I'm serious. My family's in danger. See, we're kind of in the middle of this, um, war, and they need me."I begged, walking to stand in front of her again. The anger had left me and was replaced with desperation.

"The fight's over."Tessa said. Her voice was quiet and comforting but it did nothing but panic me again. There was still things I had to do. I couldn't leave yet.

"No, it isn't."I snapped, angry again.

"It is for you. Dean. You're not the first soldier I've plucked from the field. They all feel the same. They can't leave. Victory hangs in the balance. But they're wrong. The battle goes on without them."Tessa replied.

"My brother. Kat. They could die without me."I protested, my heart breaking at the thought. It was my job to protect them both.

"Maybe they will, maybe they won't. Nothing you can do about it. It's an honorable death. A warrior's death."Tessa tried. I wondered around her towards the bed, standing at the end

"I think I'll pass on the seventy two virgins, thanks. I'm not that into prude chicks anyway."I smirked although it was forced.

"I thought Kat was a virgin."Tessa stated and I tensed as she mentioned her name, my eyes hardening. She seemed to pick up on my anger as she tilted her head in surrender."That's funny. You're very cute."She tried instead.

"There's no such thing as an honorable death. My corpse is going to rot in the ground and my family is going to die! No. I'm not going with yo, I don't care what you do."I growled, glaring at her.

"Well, like you said. There's always a choice. I can't make you come with me. But you're not getting back in your body. And that's just facts."Tessa explained, walking towards me. My hard expression dropped slightly at the realization."So yes, you can stay. You'll stay here for years. Disembodied, scared, and over the decades it'll probably drive you mad. Maybe you'll even get violent."

"What are you saying?"I asked, my voice breaking slightly.

"Dean. How do you think angry spirits are born? They can't let go and they can't move on. And you're about to become one. The same thing you hunt."Tessa warned. I slowly lowered myself onto the end of the bed, letting the news sink in. I would become a ghost, maybe hurting people until some hunters came and took me out. Maybe those hunters would be Sam and Kat. The bed sunk next to me and a hand glided through my hair softly."It's time to put the pain behind you."

"And go where?"I asked, unsure if I really wanted the answer.

"Sorry. I can't give away the big punchline. Moment of truth. No changing your mind later. So what's it going to be?"

I sighed defeated, already knowing the answer."Can I say goodbye? There's something I need to tell someone."

Tessa looked at me sadly, her hand resting on my shoulder before she gave a small nod. I stood from the bed, my movements feeling robotic as I left the room. All too soon, I was back in my room. Kat was sat in the chair like I expected and she looked up as I entered, almost like she sensed me.

"Dean?"She called, confirming my thoughts.

I smiled sadly, the tears I had been trying so hard to hold in finally pooling in my eyes."Hey baby."

I walked forward stopping beside her and concentrated, gently brushing the hair from her face. A choked laugh escaped her mouth as she looked around her, her blue eyes focusing on my form that I knew she couldn't see.

"Sam's couldn't find anything in the book. We're still trying though Dean. I'm not giving up on you."She promised and I felt my heart break just that little bit more. I wanted to tell her something but the Ouija board was gone. My eyes found the window, frosted slightly from the harsh weather outside.

"Worth a shot."I muttered under my breath, moving over. I know she felt the lift of my hand because she started to search the room with her eyes, her blue orbs falling on the window once she heard the squeak. I took a second, just to admire her beautiful face, memorizing every detail, knowing I wouldn't get to see it again.

Her blonde hair fell limply around her shoulders and it was lacking the shine it normally had but it still looked like the softest thing I'd seen. I recalled all the times I would wake up and see her laying beside me, running my hands through her hair and loving the feel of it beneath my fingertips. Despite the dark purple under her eyes and the dull look in her eyes, they were still the most amazing blue I'd seen. I was lucky enough that her freckles were showing on her nose, giving her an innocence that she had lost since last year when we started tracking dad.

I hated myself for being a coward all these years and not telling her how I felt. I only had one option now and it wasn't something I wanted to put her through. I didn't know if telling her would be more painful than not but I just wanted her to know. My hand rose to the window, my finger starting to write three words across it.

I love you.

My hand dropped to my side and I turned to see her staring wide eyed at the message on the window. Her hand tightened on my bodies and I felt the grip on my own. A gasp escaped her lips and she brought a hand to her mouth as tears started to run down her face."I love you too."She sobbed, a slight smile spreading on her face.

I walked forward, crouching beside her and took her hand in mine, craving the warmth they offered just one last time."Sorry it took me so long to say."I chuckled, my own tears dripping from my eyes. I knew she couldn't hear me but I couldn't stop myself from speaking to her. She looked down at her hands, the smile falling and a frown settling on her face instead. I wondered what she was doing until she let out a deep breath, blinking a few times. "Kat?"

Her eyes snapped up, surprise filling them and a laugh bubbled from her throat."Dean?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and lent forward more."Can you hear me?"

"Oh my god...yes."She replied, grinning. I laughed and ran a thumb over her knuckles, almost forgetting what I had to do."I've missed your voice."

"I know, princess. I'm so sorry."I sighed, the reality sinking in again. More tears streamed down my face and I saw the look of concern on her expression as she heard my voice crack.

"Sorry? What for Dean?"

I took a deep breath before answering, my voice low."I have to go."

I hated having to say those words to her and I hated them all the more as I saw her face fill with pain."Go? No. Dean no. Please. You can't go. You can't leave me."She pleaded, the tears streaming down her face faster.

"I'm so sorry. I need to say goodbye."I apologized.

"No. Sam needs you. I need you. Don't leave me."She begged, sobbing and whatever heart I had left, completely shattered.

"I don't have a choice. If I did, I'd stay with you forever. Always."I promised, not knowing if that would help in any way. I wanted to take her pain away but that was hard to do when I was the one causing it.

"Please. I can't do this without you Dean."She cried harder.

"Yes you can. Look after Sammy for me, princess."I said, smiling through my tears. She shook her head back and forth, hard sobs racking her body. I took in a deep breath and slowly stood from my crouch, pressing my forehead to hers."I love you so much."I whispered.

"Dean please."She cried and I pressed my lips to her forehead, lingering little longer than necessary before pulling away reluctantly. Before I could change my mind, I backed away, already missing her warmth. Her eyes widened and her arms flung out as if reaching for me."No. No, Dean. Don't go!"

"I'm so sorry."I repeated, forcing myself to walk out the room. I heard her cries as I walked down the hallway, pain seeming to fill every inch of my body.

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The beeping of Dean's monitor was still consistent giving me a slither of hope that he hadn't gone through with whatever it was he was doing yet. My vision was completely blurred and my heart literally felt like it was breaking into millions of pieces. I hadn't even realized that I had left Dean's room and was wandering down the halls until I noticed the concerned, odd glances of other patients and nurses.

"Ma'am, is something the matter?"A nurse stopped me, entering my line of vision. Her hand reached out and took a hold of the tops of my arms. I recognized her from earlier; she was in my room when I woke up. My breathing was hitched as I struggled to get any words out through my tears.

"I ne-need to find hi-him."

"Who?"

"Please. I need Sam. Dean, he-he's in tro-trouble."I hiccuped, trying to pull away from her.

"Okay, miss. I think you need to calm down. You were in a car accident yesterday, your head injury might still be effecting you."She tried, a fake smile on her face.

I shook my head, becoming hysteric. She wouldn't let me go."No. It's not that! Please. I nee-need-"

"Come with me please."She insisted, dragging my arm the opposite direction of where I was going.

"Let me go! I need to find Dean."I begged, the injury in my arm, side, and leg making it harder to fight back.

"Miss, you're going to have to cooperate or I'm gonna to have to call a doctor."She informed me. That didn't stop me from pulling on my arm to try and break free. With a final tug, I pulled myself from her grip, falling into the wall. She spun around to grab me but I took of running, limping because of my leg.

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Tessa was still in the room I left her, sitting on the bed again near the wall as I entered. Her face was full of sympathy as she took in my tear stained face. I had stopped crying now but my heart still hurt. The look on Kat's face wouldn't leave my mind and it felt like I could still hear her crying.

"If it's any consolation, I'm sorry."She said quietly.

"It's not."I laughed, it sounding pained."I don't think they're gonna be okay when I leave."

"Sam and Kat are fighters. They'll find a way to move on."She expressed, standing up. I walked to the other side of the room to stand in front of her.

"I don't know if that's comforting."I admitted, furrowing my eyebrows.

"It wasn't supposed to be. It's only the truth. Maybe it would help you if I say that they will miss you and they will. But they'll find a way to cope."Tessa tilted her head."Kat will most likely turn to alcohol, it drowns out the pain but she'll continue to be a hunter and the anger she feels will only make her stronger. Sam might even go back to college, have a life."

"Stop. You're not helping."I whispered, staring down at the floor.

"It wasn't meant to."She stated and I looked up at her. Suddenly, the lights started to flicker, a buzz echoing through the room.

"What are you doing that for?"I asked, looking around.

"I'm not doing it."Tessa replied confused. We both turned to the vent as something started to leak out of it.

"What the hell?"I questioned. Black smoke started to pour out of the vent, crawling across the floor towards Tessa.

"You can't do this! Get away!"Tessa screamed.

"What's happening?!"I yelled, taking a step back. The smoke burst up causing Tessa to scream as it entered her body. I watched, confused and helpless until it stopped.

Tessa spun around, her eyes a bright yellow. "Today's your lucky day, kid."Before I had a chance to react, she thrust her hand onto my face. A surge of energy passed through me then everything went black.

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I wandered the hallways for what seemed like hours, I didn't know what for. At this point my body had shut down, the tears stopped, the thoughts abandoned me. I was like a corpse looking for something they couldn't find. People would glance my way, a few would even try to talk to me but their words were muffled. I wouldn't stop, I'd just carry on down the hallway like a zombie.

At some point, I'd made it back to the floor Dean was on. A part of me didn't want to but I forced myself to move towards his room, dreading what I would find. Just as I rounded the corner, Sam was walking out the room, his back turned to me. A strangled breath escaped my mouth at the realization that I would have to tell him. He must have already known as he came out of Dean's room but he deserved to know that his brother knew of his death.

My legs carried me forwards faster till I crashed into his side, taking him off guard."Woah, Kat?"

Sobs bubbled from my chest, the numbness that had offered me sanity for a while disappearing. I gripped him tighter, for once not caring that I needed to be strong for him. I needed his strength. Maybe that would be the only thing to keep me from falling apart."Dean, he's-"

"Kat?"A deep familiar voice called. I froze, my words and movements stopping. Slowly, I removed my arms from around Sam's waist and looked up into his face, questioning if I was imagining it. Sam looked concerned for me but there was no pain or grief like I expected. Not something I would have thought if he just found his brother dead.

I looked into the room to see Dean sat up in his bed, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me. My heart stopped, confusion filling my body but also extreme relief."Dean?"

"Well, yeah. What's wro-"

I didn't let him finish as I ran towards him, throwing my entire body onto his. I didn't care that he let out a grunt of pain, only held him tighter as if he would slip away again if I let go. I pulled away enough to see his face and laughed, leaning forward to press soft kisses all over his face; his cheeks, forehead, and eyelids.

"I was gonna come find you to tell you Dean's awake. Doctors said it's a miracle and everything's healed."Sam's voice spoke up, a slight laugh in his voice as he watched me.

"I thought that you were dead."I sighed, pulling away and sitting on the edge of my bed. I smiled brightly at him as he looked at me confused, Sam walking around the other side of the bed to sit on the chair.

"So, you really don't remember anything?"Sam asked, seeming to carry on a conversation they were having. My head snapped towards him, my heart dropping to the floor.

Dean shook his head, becoming serious again."No. Except this pit in my stomach. Guys, something's wrong."

A knock came at the door and we turned to see John, a small smile on his face. I tried to hid my face behind ,y hair the best I could, knowing I could only hide my feelings through my expression so much."How you feeling, dude?"John asked his son.

"Fine, I guess. I'm alive."Dean answered.

"That's what matters."John sighed, nodding his head slightly.

"Where were you last night?"Sam asked, an angry tinge already in his voice. I sighed, hating that he was already at his throat.

"I had some things to take care of."John replied, being as evasive as possible.

"Well, that's specific. "Sam scoffed.

"Come on, Sam."Dean pleaded, looking up at his brother.

"Did you go after the demon?"Sam questioned, ignoring Dean. I fought to keep tears from escaping my eyes, I had cried enough today. The fact that Dean didn't remember any of it; that I loved him or that he loved me stung. It wasn't his fault but it still hurt. And for some reason, it clammed me back up.

"No."John shook his head.

"You know, why don't I believe you right now?"Sam snapped. I saw Dean close his eyes out of annoyance and John sighed, stepping into the room.

"Can we not fight?"John pleaded and I looked up at him in surprise."You know, half the time we're fighting, I don't know what we're fighting about. We're just butting heads. Sammy, I, I've made some mistakes. But I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay?"

"Dad, are you alright?"Sam asked, becoming concerned. The conversation we had earlier came to mind and something changed inside of me. John had done something.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm just a little tired."John assured. Hey, son, would you, uh, would you mind getting me a cup of caffeine?"

"Yeah. Yeah, sure. Come on Kat."Sam nodded, holding a hand out to me. I stared at it for a second before taking it, lifting myself up. As we passed, I patted John on the shoulder. I didn't know what it would have done but it was a sign of reassurance to me.

"Hey, you okay?"Sam asked as we left the room.

I looked up at him."Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You just seem upset."Sam answered. Of course I was upset. Everything John told me earlier seemed to sink in and I knew what he had done. I also knew that there wasn't a chance to stop it. Telling Sam would only cause him pain. It was for John to say, not me.

"I'm fine."I replied curtly as we reached the hospital's cafeteria.

"You sure? I kinda know you after all these years. Did something happen?"Sam asked and I looked at him confused."With Dean. I don't know, it just seems like the fact that he can't remember anything is making you sad."

"Um no."I answered, reaching forward to fill a paper cup with some coffee.

"You sure?"Sam pressed. I know he was just trying to be a good friend but it only filled me with anger.

"I said no Sam."I snapped, turning to start walking back. I heard Sam sigh before he started to follow. On the way back to Dean's room, I happened to glance into a room but I stopped completely. My heart shattering and my breathing stopping."John!?"

John laid on the floor, his chest not moving and his face still. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as I dropped the cup from my hand and ran forward, kneeling beside him. I barley registered when Sam entered beside me as I started to scream for help.

Doctors and nurses rushed into the room, herding me and Sam out of the way as they lifted John onto the bed, attaching different machines to him. Sam gripped onto my hand tightly as we hovered in the doorway, frozen in fear. They started to press paddles to his chest and a nurse turned around, attempting to push us out.

"No, no, no, it's our dad. It's our dad!"Dean pleaded as he rushed to stand behind us. I hand't realized he had come, the tears making it hard to focus. I felt his hand snake around my waist as he rested his head on my shoulder, his tears soaking though the fabric quickly."Come on."

"Okay, stop compression's."A doctor announced and my eyes widened.

"Come on, come on."I begged in a whisper tone.

"Still no pulse."A nurse told them.

"Okay, that's it everybody.I'll call it. Time of death: 10:41 am."