Not Ready

≈Chapter XVIII :

"Uh..." I didn't know what to say to be honest. I was not feeling good today. I wasn't fitting in my shoes. My mind was wandering somewhere else, far away from my body. My body was at a place and my mind was at another place. I didn't even know why I came to work, because it was so stupid. Stupid because I wasn't even focused. I couldn't focus on what was occurring around me. I should've stayed in my bed to allow myself to cry all the tears of my heart. If I still had some.

"We can stop there if you want to. You don't seem, uh, like yourself today."

"Uh..." I cleared my throat, "I know." I finger combed my hair. I didn't even take the time to really get it done. I just passed the comb like five times through it and then let it live. I didn't have makeup on either and my outfit wasn't screaming classy as usual, it was more like a stay at home outfit, "But uh...Uh, I wa-You-Were you saying something ? "

"No, not really. Not since we said our good mornings. It's been thirty minutes since we're sitting here, each one in our thoughts. I got off my trance about like five minutes ago. Do you want to talk about it ? "

I narrowed my eyes, "You're the patient here and I am th-"

"I know, I know. But you seem really off today. Usually, you would try to make conversation with me. Actually, I've been noticing your weird behavior since two months now. At first, I was like it's not my business, but now it's starting to get scary. What's going on ? "

"Nothing. I'm fine." I said as I could hear my voice cracking. I cleared my throat feeling the water coming, "Let's talk about you. Last time we-we-w-" I chocked on my words, "Excuse me." I stood up and ran to the bathroom locking the door behind me. 

"Dr.Khimona ! " 

I inhaled and exhaled trying to get my breath back to its normal rhythm. I slid against the wall as the tears finally came out and they didn't want to stop coming. I put my head in my hands, "No, no, no, no. Be strong." 

"Hey ! At least tell me that you're okay ! " He yelled banging on the door, "If you don't tell me that you're okay in a minute, I'm-"

"I'm okay, I'm okay." I managed to say through my cries. 

"No, you're not. I can hear it in your voice. C'mon, let me in. I'm worried about you. Very worried." Next thing I know, he found a way to enter in and now he was standing before me. 

I sniffed, "Don't look at me like that ! " I screamed wiping my eyes, even if it was actually unnecessary.

He sat next to me, "Let it go." He simply said before to wrap his arm over my shoulders and bringing me closer to him, letting me rest my head on his chest. 

It actually warmed my little heart. 

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"So..."

I turned my head towards him as I was eating my sandwich. I swallowed and then shrugged, "So what ? " I asked acting clueless. 

After my breakdown at the therapy session, Dorian and I came back to my house. I took off for the rest of the day and he didn't want to leave me alone because he was very worried as he said. So I had no other choice but to bring him here with me. The boy was really stubborn and insisted for awhile, he didn't want to let me go without tagging along, it was a big no for him. 

I changed in more comfortable clothes, put my hair in a messy bun and put on my slippers as he was waiting on me downstairs. After that, we went in the kitchen and made some sandwiches; two with cheese and two with salami. We then grabbed two sprites and went on my balcony to chill.