Not Ready

≈Chapter XVII :

"Calm down ! She's not cheating ! And I would never do that to you ! "

"Oh and how can I be so sure about that ?! HUH ?! I don't even know who you are anymore ! "

"I know we're not the best of friends lately, but I would NEVER do that to you ! You're my little brother, my family, my blood and I would NEVER in my life hurt you like that ! " I told him making a strong eye contact with him. My words were sincere and he could also see the truth in my eyes and even hear it in the tone of voice I was using. 

He stayed silent as his chest was going up and down less faster. He was calming down, "So...Y'all are not fucking ? "

"Can y'all stop saying that word for a few minutes ? Thank you ! " Lani said behind me shaking her head. 

"Of course no ! " I answered as I felt an uncomfortable sensation in my injured eye, "Ouch." I exclaimed covering it with my right hand. 

"Are you okay ? " Lani asked placing a hand on my shoulder. 

RJ sighed looking at me regretfully, "Sorry..." 

I fanned him off, "It's fine. I deserved it." I turned towards Laylani, "I'm sorry for pushing you like that. I didn't mean t- it's ju- I- I don't know what to really say, except sorry. I'm truly sorry." 

"It's alright. I'm fine." 

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"Hey." 

I opened my eyes and followed the sound of the voice. There she was standing observing me, "Since what happened earlier, you shouldn't be here."

"This is the first and last time you're pushing me, next time I'll cut your balls and force them through your throat." I heard her, "And RJ and I talked, everything is back to normal...well, almost."

I bit on my bottom lip as she sat on the edge of my bed, "You told him ? " I asked nervously while my heartbeat was speeding a bit. No lie, I was scared of RJ's reaction. What was he going to think of me ? 

She slowly shook her head left to right, "No. It's not my place to tell him. How are you though ? "

I shrugged sitting up, "I don't know..." 

"Are those therapy sessions even doing something ? I mean...You..." I saw a single tear falling on her right cheek and I immediately wiped it away. It was warming up my heart to see her so concerned about me. We didn't know each other for too long and she was already treating me like family, "I'm really worried about you, Dorian." 

"Don't be, I'll be fine."

"Promise me to never do this again, okay ? " She held her pinky out, "Promise me and keep that promise. Please, never harm yourself like that again." 

I looked at her for a couple of seconds and intervened my pinky with her, "I promise. It was the very first and last time." 

"You really sacred me." She exhaled heavily and in relief, "Are you going to tell RJ though ? You two need to have a serious talk." 

"I agree." We both startled as we finally noticed my cousin that was standing in the doorway, leaned on the door with his arms crossed.

"Please, don't fight." Lani stood up and left, giving my cousin and I some privacy. We stared at each other for five entire minutes before RJ decided to break the silence and so the thick tension as well. It's been a little bit more than one month since I got out of jail and since then it felt like RJ and I were beefing, and for stupid reasons. Like, we had nothing to be really angry about to start with, but we were mad at each other for awhile now and seemed like today was the day we were going to make amends. Hopefully, we'll be best friends again at the end of this conversation.