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Homesick| Calum

By: brokenblackscene

Source: Tumblr

Calum didn't know it was possible to miss someone so much until he walked down the hallway with his arms planted firmly by his sides. With rigid and tense shoulders and tightly clenched fists, Calum keeps his head down and rushes by all the passing people to get to his next class.

It was weird how Calum feels like a stranger despite having marched up and down this exact corridor a hundred thousand times, especially considering that once these floors and windows belonged to him. How could Calum go from the most popular and physically academic student to an outsider with hardly any friends and dropping grades in the space of a month?

Every face he recognises, some of them even belong to people he once considered friends and others belonging to girls that passed the time when spurts of numbness would settle in. Calum knows he shouldn't really, that's what triggered everything in the first place, sleeping around, but it's not like Y/N cares what he does anymore; she's made that very clear through the flaunting of her new boyfriend.

Calum's happy for her, he truly is and knows that he should try and let her go. The problem is nobody seems better suited for Calum than Y/N herself.

He remembers when his life was perfect: when he ruled the ground, when people worshiped him and when he had his arm securely wrapped around Y/N as she smiled softly at the boy she thought she'd spend the rest of her life with. Home was when Calum had Y/N in his arms... and he just can't seem to get over this homesickness that has possessed him.

Of course he misses Y/N, she was the star at the top of a Christmas tree, the cherry on cake and the twinkle of a star during the dark of the night; she was the reason why everything mundane and dull suddenly became magical and just that little bit more special.

Calum's tried to find another that could make a dim winter's day shine brighter than the sun, but nobody was able to make his heart flutter in the way Y/N could. He tried tall girls and short girls but none of them had the perfect height so that Calum could quickly lean over and peck a kiss to their temple with ease –Y/N had been the perfect height. Calum tried large girls and skinny girls, curvaceous girls and those with striking bodies and yet out of the hundreds, Calum's arm ended up aching only minutes of resting on their waists –his arm was always comfortable around Y/N. He'd woken up numerous times to the smell of a girl next to him however none of their perfumed scents matched the blissful essence that was cinnamon and apples –Y/N always smelled of that.

No matter how hard he searched or how many he dated that were out of his comfort zone, Calum couldn't find anyone that made the cut. He supposes that dating Y/N has screwed him up in the most beautifully poetic way, but screwed him up nonetheless because now he had a standard that Y/N created and a standard that nobody was even able to compare to.

Then when Calum realized that he was not okay, he began to block everyone out. He wouldn't talk to anyone, he couldn't physically muster the words and within weeks, everybody stopped trying to pry him open; it was obvious though, that Calum's actions were linked back to Y/N.

Calum hears a round of wolf whistles and jeering making him snap his head up but what he sees makes him wish he'd just kept to himself.

Y/N pulls away from the kiss, red blushing her cheeks and her boyfriend chuckles softly ignoring everyone and leaning down to press the gentlest kiss on her forehead. Then suddenly she squeaks and slaps his shoulder while laughing, swatting away his hand that was cupping her ass.

Calum can feel his chest rising and falling rapidly as a swatch resentment washes over him.

He resents that Y/N has gotten over him so quickly while he's stuck in a pit of depression with nothing but a spoon to dig himself out. He resents that her new boyfriend can touch and kiss her whenever he pleases and Calum can't do anything about it. He resents that he can still taste Y/N on his lips and that the weight of her hand has never left making him feel heavier than ever.