Empire

Chapter 69

Empire Chapter 69: Going Downhill, a gossip girl fanfic | FanFiction

A/N: next chapter is going to be insane! Just to warn you!

Chapter 69

Chuck's Point of View

Lux thinks I don't give a shit about her because I left her all alone in Tuscany and that's not true. I do care about her, a lot more than I care to admit to anyone. I'm not the best at expressing how I feel, probably because my father liked it that way. Why does this have to be so hard? Why did I have to fuck it all up? Because it's what you do, I thought rolling a joint in the back of my car.

Tonight did not go as well as I had anticipated it to go. If it had Lux would be sitting on my lap right now and my hands would be tangled in her chocolate brown hair. My pants felt tight just thinking about her in that short skirt. All the things I wanted to do to her when we were in that tiny changing room. I shifted uncomfortably in the back seat and lit up, letting the smoke fill the back of the car. I loosened my tie and slumped down in the seat inhaling the toxic smoke deep into my lungs, feeling it burning the back of my throat.

Of course my fucking father had to blurt out that I gave her money. I never wanted her to know that came from me, because she's too damn stubborn to take it and use it, one of the many things I love about her. Is it possible to love different things about a person and not be in love with them? I took another hit off the joint between my fingers and coughed slightly. The car was full of the putrid smoke so I cracked the window. I hit the button above my head to lower the partition so I could see Arthur. He looked at me through the rear view mirror, probably getting a contact high off my joint.

"Take me to Blacklight, I'm in the mood to drink tonight." I instructed then closed the partition seeing him nod his head before it fully closed.

The weed in my system worked wonders on relaxing me, but did nothing for the thoughts running rampant in my mind. I wanted her to look at me the way she looked at me before I broke her heart, but she hasn't since summer ended. I've wanted to touch her everyday and make her moan my name like she used too. The last time we were together plays on a loop in my mind every single night. She sees us in black and white, but I see us in screaming color.

I stumbled getting out of the car at Blacklight, already stoned out of my mind and drunk on scotch. I just wanted the thoughts of her and us to go away for awhile. She doesn't want me anymore. Fuck, there's a whole line of people that don't want me. Knocking back shots at the bar was a wonderful way to silence the monsters running wild in my mind. A haze formed behind my eyes making them extremely hard to hold open as I rested my elbows on the bar. My heart thudded loudly in my ears as it raced tremendously. A warm sensation took over my body and I felt numb. Which is exactly what I wanted.

In my inebriated state I pulled my cell phone out of my jacket pocket and scrolled through the pictures of Lux and I on the beach. Her lips planted on my cheek as her arms were wrapped around my neck. We were happy. Hell, I was happy. I've never been a truly happy person, but I was with her until my father had to plant the idea that she'd ruin me in my head. This is his fault. The pain in my chest, the look in her eyes. If my father wasn't such a miserable bastard I wouldn't be feeling like this.

I exited out of the pictures of us and scrolled through the contacts on my phone until I found the one labeled, "Bart." As I was about to hit send I felt the phone being pulled out of my hands. My reflexes were slowed due to the alcohol and pot in my system so I was surprised to see that Dan Humphrey was the one holding my phone.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Humpty Dumpty?" I spat at him, squinting my eyes to make the other two of him disappear. "Great, I'm being robbed by a Brooklynite. You know what? Keep it, I'll right it off as a charitable donation."