The Maze Runner Imagines/Preferences

Drunk Textmessages (2)

So idk I felt like doing this again bc why not

pls prepare with a bible

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ThoMass bc y'all need jesus:

hy bub it's thomass ur bae ye

soi was wondering if u wanted a stud in ur life bc i have the std part all down and all i need is u and ur ass bb come home pls

- Thomas .. reallywantstofuckyousoifyoucouldplscomehomeandstripthatwouldbenicethnkubye

NewT-estement of the bible:

HIIIIIBABE

so i have a v goodstor y for u today would u like to hear it

yes u would ok so somebody asked me if I wanted to play house and i wz like yis i'm down for tht shit and we went into the plahosue and i waz like

ok u be the door and ill bang u all nite longe

pls dont be mad i willfuck you when i come home ok i am sry so sry justget naked i will be there s0on

- Newt(-ticles)

ps did i mention it was thomas who i plyed hous wihth

Minho-ping for you to drown in holywa ter:

ok so i was doin sum reserrch and here is what i fuond out about orgasms

there are 4 tipes of prgasms. the holy orgasm, the accidental orgasm, the positive orgasm, and the fake orgasm.

the holy orgasm souns like "oh GOD OGOD"

the accidental orgasm sounds like "OH shIT OH SHIT"

the positive orgasm sounds lik "oh yeS OH YES!"

the fake rgasm soiunds like "oH mINHO" (u actually use the name of the person fuking you but thats me so)

canupls tell me wi i have been geting the ffake orgasm bc i would like to kno 

thaNKs fornothing bitch

-Minnotyourhoeanymorebcyouabitch

GalLying to yourself when you know you need to go to church today:

oKAY SO i aNM LIOKE FRKING OUT RN I AM SPIDER Y/N I AM A FUCKING SPIDER WHATTHEFUCKDOIDO

I WAS ON PARLOR AND SOME reakly hot girl SAID

WHY ARE GUYS LIKE SPIDERS?

I SAID I DID NOT KNOP

SHESAID: BECAUSE WHN THY R ON THE WEB THEIR HANDS R ALWAYS (infinity) STICKY 

AND U KNOW MINE ARE ALWAYS STIVKY ITS STICKY AND LOKS LIKE GLUE HELP ME Y/N FUCK

-galpal-adin of your pussy oops

ps. i nkow u like cats so i got u one.

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this one wasn't in need of a bible as the other one.

you should probably go to mass tho

just in case

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aYE you can find me on

twitter / michaelssponge

instagram / transluke

tumblr / offensivehood

spotify / lukeception

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tHANKYOUuu so mUch anD I WILl see yOU ALL IN THE NEXT ONE

Posted: 08/07/15