𝗧𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄'𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵 | an apocalyptic novel ©

Chapter 43

Cold Past, Warm Heart
2031
Aidan

"Hey, Houston," I mumble, scratching the shepherd's ears.
The guard at the kennels didn't even look up from whatever scribbles he was drawing in his notebook when I walked past him and snatched the keychain from the blackboard next to his stall.
Houston tilts his head to look at me. I kneel on the ground and cross my legs.
I need time to process whatever happened.
Conversations feel exhausting to even think about, so I do the only thing I can think of – spending time with my K9.
My dog tag rattles when I lean forward and bury my fingers in the thick fur.
It is oddly calming, just existing next to this dog.
Houston stops wagging his tail after he probably realized I won't throw his ball for him to catch and slowly folds his hind legs to lean his broad head against my knee.
A smile spreads on my lips and I swear I see it reflected in his demeanor too.
Maybe, I'm not like my father after all.
Maybe I have a warm heart and know how to use it.
Lost in thoughts, I scratch his snout and look around in the kennel. Besides Houston, there are the other dogs I saw when the Drill Sergeant introduced me to the K9 present too, doing dog things, I suppose. One is almost dismantling a tennis ball that is practically drenched in dog saliva. Another dog sniffs deeply mesmerized by its blanket, causing a snicker from me when it stubs its paw against it, again and again. Houston, on the other side, is just as calm and lost in his mind as I am.
Maybe the Sergeant was right, I need some time to bond with him. We're not so different, after all.
A satisfied growl sounds from the dog and he begins to close his eyes.
Me too, man, me too.
I look at him.
"Why is existing so hard, Houston..." I mumble under my breath.
"You'll figure it out."
I didn't expect Houston to suddenly speak, but the voice sounded from behind me.
Sheepishly, I glance over my shoulder to see Sina leaning in the gateway to the kennel.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, almost annoyed.
Can't I be alone for once?
"Same as you," she sighs. "Trying to figure out how to exist when the world around me is crumbling apart."
My chin nods next to me, motioning for her to sit. I can't just shoo her away once she's here.
Hesitantly, Sina takes a seat, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. "The guard wasn't specifically good at keeping the unauthorized away from here," she suddenly snorts.
That catches a smirk on my lips. "He's possibly near to inventing a new form of art if you can call his scribbles that."
Sina's eyes drift from Houston to the other dogs. "He's been here forever."
"Who?" I ask, dumb-funded.
The guard or the dog?
"Houston," Sina looks at me from the side. "He's been here ever since I started. He once bit a recruit because he was agitated, which – I understand him there – I'd have done too, at some point. I worked with him, for a good while."
Carefully, she extends her arm to slowly trail her fingers over Houston's fur. She doesn't seem afraid of him at all.
"And that small outburst was the reason why he was retracted from service for a short amount of time. But we both know he's capable of service after doing marvelous work last mission. See, the General and Sergeant pick out dogs they think are compatible with the owners."
Compatible?
Me?
I clear my voice. "Well, he... could have been right in that aspect."
Sina smiles. "It's the first time he's back in service after being isolated and also actually the first time he is this close to someone besides me."
Her fingers scratch Houston's ears next to my hand resting there.
I lean my head back to look at the poor paint job done on the concrete ceiling of the kennels. "You know a lot, I always wonder. How long have you been here?"
Sina shifts in her position next to me, stretching out her legs. "Seven months. Since it was declared to recruit the Youth. Forced recruitment has existed for thirty years, I believe. I've been in and out of teams, never felt... welcomed."
Her hand aimlessly trails through her white hair as she undoes her braids. "I've worn this damn hairstyle for ages. Slept in the same bed. I should have gotten used to it by now, but I'm not." Her words resonate with me.
My mind drifts off to the previous conversation I had with her, in the healthcare station.
"Sorry for running off the other day," I whisper and fiddle with my dog tag, feeling the ridges and curves of the letters engraved into it. I never had taken a proper look at it, what was written into the shiny metal, to understand what the abbreviations meant. Her eyes find mine. "It's alright, I mean, I suppose you're carrying a lot. And I don't mind if you tell me, I also don't if you choose not to. But I want you to know that you're not alone."
Is this the truth?
My eyes staring deep into hers made her grin. "It's the truth, jackass."
Her joking insults never fail to make me smile. "Your insults are crazy creative."
Her elbow nudges my side. "I chose to learn from the best."
A comfortable silence falls over us, not like yesterday when we were close otherwise. I don't like to think back to it. Because I could paint out what it'd have been.
The way Sina looked at me, I felt vulnerable, a side I swore to myself I'd not want to show.
"I'm supposed to give you this," she suddenly breaks the silence.
What?
My eyes dart to Sina's palm. She opens it to reveal a dog tag. Not mine, but the same last name is engraved, just not in English. And alone that image is raging my anger in my veins again.
"I heard, this morning after you left the hall. My-"
"Condolences? Yeah, fuck that word."
I bite down on my tongue to stop more snappy retorts and want to get up from the ground.
My father died and I don't like the fact the information about it started to spread like wildfire ever since the General knew.
"You don't want to have it?" Sina tears me out of the images that start flashing back up in my mind.
"No."
Why the fuck would I want to?
"Is that the reason why you're here in the first place?" I ask, challenging.
"Aidan, don't ruin this," she warns when Houston sleepily opens one of his dark eyes.
"Don't mention it, thanks," I murmur and slump back down to the ground. "I didn't want to ruin it."
My eyes are still stuck to the Korean letters engraved into the metal. I can't take it, it'd feel wrong.
But Sina acts without hesitation. She takes off my dog tag on the chain from around my neck and threads up my father's tag too.
"The General would give me hell if I didn't return it to you."
I grind my teeth when she places it back around my neck. "I will give you hell just for that. You know from how I told you how shit of a person he was."
My fingers nervously fiddle with the chain, now having to get used to a second metal plate on it.
"I know, but he can't do any more harm." Her words almost make me angry. Almost.
"It's like an oil fire in a chemical plant you're poking around in, you know?" I blurt out, "I'll throw this thing into the forest as soon as I get the chance to."
"No one is stopping you," Sina hums and leans her head against my shoulder, her hands caressing Houston's fur again.
"You're a weird human..." I mumble.
"Well, I heard that the same attributes spend time together more likely."
"That's fucked," I grin and lean back against the cold concrete wall.
After a moment of silence, I glance back at her. A look of peace has spread over her features, but I can see in Sina's eyes more than she likes to tell.
Without second thoughts, I interlock my hand with hers.
"He'll show up, let's just stay hopeful."