Teammates With Benefits

Chapter 37

A/N: Enjoy :)

Cameron's POV

We won the game today, but I didn't play very well at all. I am very disappointed in the way I played tonight. I was in no way in the right head space. I can't stop thinking about Aaron. He talked to me today, and he asked me how I was doing. 

I didn't know what to say. I'm definitely not doing well, that's not a question, but I don't know what's going on right now. 

Mentally, at the moment, I'm just completely broken.

I don't even know if I'm in the right head space to want a relationship at all anymore.

I park at Jared's dorm room and leave all my football gear in the trunk of my car so that Tyreek doesn't ask questions about why I play football. Jared doesn't play football, and I'm 99% sure he's aware of that fact.

"What's up?" I ask Tyreek as I enter the room.

"Not much. Just getting some homework done."

"Nice."

I lie down on my bed and try extremely hard to sleep, but I can't. I squeeze my eyes shut as hard as I possibly can, but I can't get them closed. I plug in my headphones and play white noise, but that doesn't work either. I even go as far as counting sheep to try to fall asleep, but that doesn't work either. I sit up in bed.

I might have to just wait until I'm actually tired. 

That moment never comes. 

I pull an all nighter for the first time in my life. I've always been a solid sleeper, but I just cannot get to sleeping tonight. Nothing worked. Literally nothing that I tried to do to go to sleep worked. I don't know what's wrong with me. My life has gone to shit and the moment Aaron asked if I'm alright, pretty much asking if I needed help, I said I'll be fine. 

It's morning now, and I need to go out to get some food. I have to go to the grocery store and pick up some protein shakes and bars and shit to make a sandwich. Tyreek is nice enough to let me use his mini fridge, but I'm not gonna buy so much that I fill it up.

I shower, get dressed, and get ready to go. I'm exhausted but I can't go to sleep. I think there's something seriously wrong with me. Maybe I'll see my therapist later today. Yeah, I'll think about it. I'll go over later.

At the store, I get everything I need to get. The cashier noticed my red eyes from not sleeping and crying a bit once Tyreek was asleep.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lie, forcing a smile.

"Your total is $59."

"Alright."

I swipe my credit card and pray that my parents didn't deactivate it. That's pretty much just leaving me to die at that point. I wouldn't be able to get food, water, any of the things that I need to survive.

"Alright, thank you for coming," the cashier says as my credit card actually works.

"Thanks," I say, feeling a sense of relief.

I get back to the dorms and Tyreek is gone. He is on the basketball team, apparently he is really good, but I don't really care. Basketball is not really the sport I watch nearly as much as football. Besides, I'm not gonna go to USC.

I drop my shit off at the dorm and text Dr. Vincent to see if he's available today, and he is. I'm glad I can talk to him about my shit. A lot has happened since our last meeting, and I really need to get some of this shit off of my chest.