Jisung stared in confusion.
He had just opened his door, and his eyes landed on Minho, head down as he looked at his feet, while Chan held him as if he would run away at any second.
"Hi Ji !" Chan said, smiling.
Jisung blinked.
Chan quickly gave a tap on Minho's forehead.
"Um... Hello" Minho said awkwardly, almost whispering.
Jisung couldn't understand what was happening. Minutes before, Felix left the house winking at him, and now, Minho's there, with Chan forcing him to stay there.
Meanwhile, Minho wanted to disappear.
Chan had pulled him all the way here, and he wanted nothing more than to hide himself in his bed and never come back.
"Okay, mr Idiot right here is going to apologize for his dumb acts and going to explain to you the messed up and stupid thought process he went too for him to act so dumbly" Chan said, pushing Minho inside "Let me go to the parc with baby Ava"
"YAYYY PARC" Ava heard, and started yelling as she ran to the door, before stopping in front of the two boys. "Lino !!!" She exclaimed, smiling as she hugged his leg.
A part of Minho's heart broke at her wide smile, passing a hand on her hair.
Jisung, who didn't like the soft moment, delicately pulled Ava away from Minho, crouching down.
"Wanna go to the park with Channie ?" He asked
"Yes ! Zannie !" She smiled, running to Chan with her arms opened.
Chan giggled as he carried her, helping the girl sit on his shoulder as she happily clapped.
"Let's go" Chan said, leaving the two boys behind.
As he closed the door, Jisung turned to Minho, noticing how he was fiddling with his fingers, not daring to look at Jisung.
"Um"
"Just say the stuff in the kitchen, I have dishes to wash" Jisung coldly said, leaving him behind as he walked to the kitchen.
Minho joined him, before looking around to find a comfortable stance.
"... Need help ?" He offered
"Not from you, no" Jisung responded
"Okay.." Minho gulped, stressing.
He pulled a chair, and slowly sat down.
He licked his lips, trying to find the words, and knowing very well he won't find the good words.
"I... freaked out ?" Minho blurted out, staring at Jisung's back.
"..." Jisung continued doing the dishes.
"Um... Chan said some things to me when he saw you and I were getting closer and um... I thought it was a bit dangerous ? Like ... you and I ... was weird... and maybe harmful in the future ?" He continued, words coming out slowly.
"..."
"I was in no want to be ... a father figure to Ava ... so I kinda realized that I was being really close to you but still denying anything else ... Mostly her ... it was weird" He added, scratching the back of his head
"..."
"We were just ... a bit too close, no ? Like, we were almost living like a couple- .. I mean, I only did that kind of stuff with people I actually dated. But- Like... we weren't dating, because I told you the whole dad thing freaked me out" Minho said, and noticed how Jisung's shoulder dropped a bit.
"..." But he still didn't say anything.
"I don't know, I think I just got obsessed over that... I thought I was messing up a bit too much with your family and i got scared of the consequences" He admitted, still pretty lost in all his thoughts.
"..."
"Like, I was just very scared of ending up getting too involved and having to force myself into some responsibilities I didn't feel ready for... Mostly because it was the kind of thing you did deserve ... I mean ... you do deserve someone that get involved AND take responsabilities for you... And I also know very well I'm not in the right position ... for that" Minho said, shaking his head.
"..."
"I thought that acting as if you never existed was easier ... Now that I say it outloud, it really does sounds stupid" He chuckled dryly.
"So it wasn't because of my sex problem ?" Jisung finally said, turning to the boy and crossing his arms.
"No! Not at all" Minho hurried to deny, insisting.
"..." He only stared at him.
"I wouldn't, Jisung. I know you hate me right now, but never I would have ghosted you just because I can't fuck you. I have a shit ton of defaults but this one ain't one." He continued, standing up.
"..." Jisung rolled his eyes
"Can you answer ...?" He asked softly.
"What ? You don't like being ignored ? Well, let me tell you something, I didn't either" Jisung ended up saying, glaring daggers at him.
"I'm sorry" Minho apologized
"Me too" He scoffed "That's some shitty excuses for your actions"
"I'm not searching excuses" Minho shrugged "That was my genuine thought process. I'm not saying it's legit, or good, it just really was my thought process ... as bad as it was ..." He said, not knowing what to say.
"Okay" Jisung shrugged "And what changed ?! What now ?"
"I just realized it was indeed ... dumb" Minho admitted, shameful, sitting back down on the chair.
"So that's it ?" Jisung asked, tired "What are you expecting from me ?"
"I don't know" Minho said "I was forced by Chan"
Jisung glared at him so badly Minho could have pissed himself.
"Get away from here" Jisung scoffed, pointing at the door.
"No, wait" Minho stood up in panic "It's not like that, I- I just didn't think of what you'd say or what I'm expecting from this conversation because I didn't have enough time to think it through, Chan just forced me here very suddenly"
"Then just go away and think it through ! Then you'd explain, or not, or whatever you and your sick brain is going to do ! Fuck, Minho, I struggle enough in my damned life to have to take care of another kid who's fucking undecisive." Jisung yelled at him, fed up.
"I-"
"Be fucking honest, you want me ?" Jisung asked, throwing the dishes towel away.
"... Yeah"
"You'd accept my kid ?"
"... In the end, yeah" Minho shrugged "I like her"
"What do you want then !?"
YOU ARE READING
Parenthood ruin lives - Minsung
FanfictionBeing a father at such a young age was never something he had hoped for, nor something he feels able to do. It's complicated, and suddenly, his entire life changed, and maybe for the worst. What changed the most, was his relationships, who only got...
