The Angelic Demon (Lute X F.OC)

Anger

"Well, this is a bother," Camael said in a cranky voice.

Not only did she have her halo to fuck up her throat, but now she had to heal out of a slash through it.

Sighing, she didn't really enjoy the old realization that came with first arriving in hell and living through the first extermination from the sinner's side.

Angelic weapons could nicely hurt her or anything with angelic steel... She looooong got used to one day realizing that angels could actually be hurt by their own weapons and there was an overlord re-purposing their with demonic steel mixed in... But this slash to the throat almost reminded her how close it actually had been for her.

Having gotten used to the power she held in her hands and how untouchable she was.

"That's what you get for being a mindless idiot."

"Hey! I saw red, I thought Lucien died, I needed to teach them a reason."

"Sure but like... Being so angry I could have cut off your head despite you having the seemingly powerful transformation is not a good thing."

"No shit Lute."

Sure... Sure Camael was in part happy she would be here for longer, in part happy Lucien was up on his feet... But there was some tension.

She touched her horns, having completely grown back by now and only having the lighter mark in them to show where the break had occurred in them, always having them, always angry.

The angel was quite angrily looking at her halo she held, still stuck hiding what she was if she wanted to survive another year here. Legs kicked up on the coffee table and sunk into the couch.

"I mean you can be angry but shit, that was too easy."

"I get it." Camael answered with a hiss. "And you don't know my life, I have the right to be angry with what happened to me."

"Yeah well constant anger doesn't help."

"Rich coming from an angel that hunts me year after year." Leaning an arm on the back of the couch, glaring down at her.

"Well I have a life outside of hating you, I don't spend the year fantasying about cutting your head off while you seem to never let go of the anger."

"You would if you knew what I felt and why all of this is a thing for me. You'll bask in your anger."

"You do you but you almost killed Lucien." Lute was not really scared of the hand grabbing her throat suddenly, taking her time to look up. "You are proving my point Camael, will your anger kill me too now?" 

"Don't you dare say I almost killed him, it was your fucking exorcist angels that did that."

"Did they? I mean sure, the wound was them I give you that. But I was the one that took the risk in helping him and wasting away my moment, I was the one that dealt with the beast of you, I could have left him, I could have helped and left him to suffer what you'd have done after, I could have not helped him, all because in your anger you preferred to be selfish and kill... So who's the reason for almost killing him? Hmm? Look me straight in the eyes and say it is entirely the angels fault."

Camael hissed, lifting her enough to shove her back on the couch as she backed up while turning away.

"You can't, you know you can't." Lute rubbed her throat. "All your choices had been selfish in anger. You chase all off and still expect it to be their fault because of some undirected anger you've lived in for who knows how long. Stop blaming us for all, angels are not the only thing bad in hell so stop putting it all on our shoulders."

"You are infuriating sometimes Lute."

"So be it, but I am correct."

"Whatever." throwing her arms up, walking away.

"Not hearing me out will not make you correct." Camael slammed the door behind her making Lute sigh.

Quite regretting staying behind at the moment but just looking back at her halo and spinning it in her hands.

As cliche as it was, the only place void of demon activity was the roof.

Camael sat on the little bench installed there as she watched the smoke rise from the started cigarette.

Oh she wouldn't have come here if she didn't want to be 100% Lute wouldn't come to find her to give her and earful, knowing she wouldn't check up here as she was unaware of the this roof terrace.

Tapping the butt of the smoke in her palm.

Anger.

The one thing pushing her on.

The one thing left that was not despair.

An angel can never find their place in hell if anger is not there to push them forwards.

She had no idea where she'd be today without anger.

It was the only reason she survived, she thrived, without anger nothing would be as it is today she is sure of it.

But so many suffered because of it, she ended up here because of it.

Thinking back...

...

She doesn't know a moment she wasn't fueled by anger.

Angry at her role as the angel of war.

Angry at Lucifer's betrayal.

Angry as she shut heaven's gates on him.

Angry when exorcists defied her orders.

Angry when she was blamed for something she didn't do.

Angry when she was pushed out.

Angry when she survived.

Angry that she thrived.

Angry--

She sighed.

Camael is not sure how to not hate life as she always seemed to have hated it.

"This sucks." She muttered.