"we will struggle
not the way people do
and you will hurt me
but not the way everyone else can
and you will love me
harder than anything I've ever known
and I will need you
it will be strong and terrifying
and I will listen
even if it's the sadde...
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Mijo Miami, Florida October 9th, 2010
"You think I'd leave your side, baby? You know me better than that You think I'd leave you down When you're down on your knees? I wouldn't do that I'll tell you you're right when you want And if only You could see into me When you're cold I'll be there Hold you tight to me"
I shut the sliding glass door to the balcony of the hotel room I had for the weekend, keeping it cracked a little so that Skye could feel the warm breeze in her sleep. She was still knocked out in the bed, the thin sheet outlining her naked body underneath it.
I've been out on the balcony for an hour trying to deal with all the crazy shit going on in LA right now. Why shit gotta go down when I'm outta town? This nigga Chris called me crying and choking, losing his fucking mind and I'm all the way out in Florida. At least when I was with him, I could control the situation and contain it. This wasn't the first time he had a crazy ass breakdown and it won't be the last, but when I'm there it stays between me and him and I keep that shit quiet.
This time, I ain't like the things he was saying. He sounded like he was ready to give up on life, and on everything. We had more than enough guns in the crib and the last thing I wanted was for him to do something stupid. I stayed on the phone with Nae until she was with him and I was just gonna have to trust her to handle it.
This weekend, he was supposed to tell her about Maya and the baby. He said he just wanted to enjoy their last couple days together before she left his ass, like he knew she would once he told her, so he kicked everybody out the crib to get on his romantic shit. I told him it's no point in telling her when we don't even know if it's his yet, we ain't even see a pregnancy test, but he said he couldn't keep something like that from Nae and he wanted to be honest so...I guess we'll see.
When he called, I thought that's what he was calling to tell me. But he was just crying, man. Like a baby...worse than a baby. It was hard to listen to.
Exhaling deeply, I turned the shower on and let it warm up, stripping out my boxers. I had a long ass night last night. As soon as I landed, I went and picked Skye up from her dorm and took her to this suite I got at the Fontainebleau Hotel on South Beach. We had a quickie, ate at one of the restaurants downstairs, had a couple drinks at the bar and came back up here for the night.
Something about hotel sex, man...it makes you do wild shit.
I stepped in the marble shower under the hot water, letting it run down my front for a minute, before I turned around and let it run down my back, feeling it sting some of the scratches Skye left there last night.
This wasn't supposed to still be a thing, between us. Last year, I ended up home for the summer with Chris while he was hiding out, she was home from college and shit just happened. But I ain't think it was gonna last this long, honestly.
