"we will struggle
not the way people do
and you will hurt me
but not the way everyone else can
and you will love me
harder than anything I've ever known
and I will need you
it will be strong and terrifying
and I will listen
even if it's the sadde...
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Chris September 21st, 2008 Harlem, New York
"We don't have to lose each other I don't know what I would do without you, no More than just used to be lovers I thought we were friends This don't gotta end baby"
"Come to Daddy, Jun'..."
I squatted down on the floor, holding my arms out and watching my son take shaky steps towards me. Man, I wanted to cry. I missed his first steps last week because I was out of town but as soon as I landed today I raced over to Nae's to see my family. I don't know what it was, but ever since VA shit has been different with us. That whole situation with Skye was...hard...and crazy as fuck. That night everybody ended up staying at my crib and we got to spend a little time together.
All of us...and then just us.
We caught up on a lot that night. I ain't realize how much of each others lives we was missing since we didn't really talk anymore like we used to. When we were kids we stayed up for hours all fucking night just talking. That ain't happened in months. I honestly been avoiding her since she got this little boyfriend, so maybe it's my fault. But I needed my space, man.
"That's my big booooooy." I was smiling big as hell, watching my sons little fat, wobbly legs walking into my arms. As soon as he reached me, I picked him up and stood on my feet, kissing his little head. "You going to the NBA nigga, we gotta start practicing now."
"Watch your mouth when you talking to my baby, Chris." I ain't hear Nae come in the room, but I felt her gently slap the back of my head. "He's starting to talk and if 'nigga' is his first real world, I'm gonna slap your teeth straight."
Petty ass, she know I'm sensitive about my crooked tooth.
"Nah his first word is gonna be DaDa. Go 'head Jun...say it...say DaDa...DaDa..." I nodded, watching him smile and laugh as I lifted him in the air. Nae hated when I did it but he likes it. Right after he was born I did the Lion King thing with him in the hospital and her scary ass almost had a heart attack.
"If you think you're gonna get him to call you Daddy before he calls me Mommy, you're out your mind. One of my boobs is still bigger than the other from breastfeeding. I earned that first word."
"Why don't we let him decide that?" I smirked, watching her roll her eyes and sit on the couch. My eyes stayed on her while I bounced Jun' in my arms, and after a few seconds she made an annoyed face at me.
"What the hell you staring at?"
"It's the right one right? That's the bigger one?" I could tell. I know her body better than my own. Instead of answering me, she sucked her teeth and waved me off.
"Get out my damn face, Maurice. Put my child in his walker please."
