"we will struggle
not the way people do
and you will hurt me
but not the way everyone else can
and you will love me
harder than anything I've ever known
and I will need you
it will be strong and terrifying
and I will listen
even if it's the sadde...
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naomi
"Part of my progression is knowing I should forgive you Got this blanket full of lies to cover up how much I miss you Running from my issues"
There were three ways I could handle this.
I could be friendly— lie and say it's nice to meet her, compliment her hair, smile in her face. It would make Chris happy, even though it would feel like pulling teeth for me, but it was probably the most mature way.
Or I could keep it short and sweet. Exchange names and surface level conversation, then disappear with a cold, icy exit that left everyone wondering. It was how I felt, but it's not naturally who I am.
My last option was sort of a happy medium between the two.
Chris was talking slow and hesitant like he thought I would self destruct if he said the words out loud. Lucky for him, I wasn't that fragile. I prepared for this. It's not easy but I wasn't running from it anymore.
"Babe, this is Nae...Naomi."
"Naomi, it's nice to meet you properly. He talks about you all the time, about how you two grew up together." She smiled, talking in her heavy Caribbean accent. My eyes dragged down to her hand, outstretched for me to shake, and I just looked at it for a second before I took it in mine, shaking it slowly.
He talks about us growing up together?
Seriously? Is that all we did?
Is that what our story got reduced to?
"Nice to meet you too." I barely smiled, looking her in her green eyes as I spoke. My dad always told me to look people in the eye when I speak, nervous or not. In that moment, any star struck allure I thought I would feel was gone. The fact that I was a fan of hers flew out the window— she was nothing but Chris' new girlfriend and it almost made me cock my fist back and punch her in her pretty face.
I glanced over at Chris, nervously darting his eyes between us as our palms separated, and we shifted uncomfortably where we stood.
"I know y'all met real quick on New Years but...you know...I wanted y'all to actually meet." He muttered, his tone laced with fear and angst. It almost made me wonder if he was expecting me to do something crazy.
"Yeah, we couldn't find you after the party, I wanted to actually meet you that night." She spoke up again, making my eyes focus on her.
"Yeah, I left with my friends. It was a long night."
I watched her arm go around his torso, and her head lay on his shoulder. I couldn't tell if she was trying to get under my skin. I wanted to believe it was innocent but...am I tripping?
"Nae." I turned around at the sound of someone calling my name, and Chris' big sister Tootie was approaching me with a huge smile on her face, almost identical to her brothers. "Hey honey, can you come help me wrap the last of grandmas gifts?"
