"we will struggle
not the way people do
and you will hurt me
but not the way everyone else can
and you will love me
harder than anything I've ever known
and I will need you
it will be strong and terrifying
and I will listen
even if it's the sadde...
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Naomi February 13, 2010 Harlem, New York
"Would've came back for you, I just needed time To do what I had to do, caught in the life I can't let it go Whether that's right, I will never know Hope you forgive me, never meant wrong Tried to be patient but waited too long But I would've came back I would've came back for you"
"You look mad good little cuz."
Steph strolled into my bedroom, carrying a full glass of tequila and lemonade in her hand and her phone in the other. I met eyes with her through the mirror, watching the proud smirk on her face. She was the one always telling me to go out and have fun, and my boring ass never wanted to do anything. I only really went out with her or Dutch, or whenever the girls came to town.
But some of my classmates from my beauty school program begged me to come out and celebrate with them, and I surprised myself when I actually said yes. Davina had just got a permanent booth in some popular salon in Brooklyn, and was about to start working full time, so she wanted to go out with a bang. Usually I turned down all their invitations, but Steph agreed to stay with CJ since she's been out every weekend since New Years and wanted to sit this one out. Plus I had some cute outfits I'd been waiting to wear, so I just said 'fuck it' and told them I'd meet them at the club.
"Thank you." I turned, examining my butt in the dress I was wearing. It was a simple mini black leather dress that fit my curves so good you'd think I had it custom made. I paired with some high leather boots, fluffed out my natural curls and put on just a little bit of makeup. I used to be insecure about my pregnancy weight gain but looking at myself now...I loved what I saw. I looked good as hell.
"That ass is fat." She playfully smacked my butt, before she crawled onto my bed, falling back into the mountain of fluffy pillows."You gonna be getting all the niggas. And them titties is outttttt, yesssss!"
"If you don't leave me alone." I laughed, rolling my eyes at her. Slowly, she was trying to push me into dating again, no matter how many times I told her I'm just not ready. I'm actually just not interested. My life is pretty good right now and pretty much drama free for the first time in years. "I'm just going out to celebrate Dav. Not to meet any guys."
"Girl whatever. You gonna see Chris tonight?"
"No." I blushed at the mention of his name, spritzing my Vera Wang perfume on my neck, my wrists and a little on my hair. "Tomorrow. He went straight to the studio when he landed but we're spending Valentine's Day together."
"Y'all back together, I don't know why you playing like you not."
"I'm not playing. I'm single, he's single. You've seen him running around with all those girls in LA right?" I fluffed my hair one more time, finally turning to drop my phone in the open mouth of my silver baguette purse. I'm not dumb...yes, me and C still have a future together, but presently when he's not with me, he has his own life. He says it's nothing serious with any of these girls but I can't even question him about it because I'm the reason we are where we are right now. I'm the one that asked for space. So I keep my feelings about it to myself, but I'm aware. "I'm listening to you for once. No stress, no titles...just having fun. Me and C are on the same page."
