"we will struggle
not the way people do
and you will hurt me
but not the way everyone else can
and you will love me
harder than anything I've ever known
and I will need you
it will be strong and terrifying
and I will listen
even if it's the sadde...
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steph
"I can see we lost our way Never felt like we were here to stay But it doesn't mean I didn't feel anything at all Maybe this is really what I need A little time to do what's right for me But it doesn't mean I won't answer when you call I hope you call"
I pressed my index finger on the doorbell to Auntie Cyn's house, lazily leaning on my makeup case while I waited for somebody to open the door. I ain't been over here in so long, this shit felt strange. The older I got, I honestly distanced myself a little from my aunt, because I feel like she's a foul bitch for doing Nae how she does her. I love my little cousin to death and imma ride for her in anybody face, auntie or not. I still love the lady, she helped raise me, but it made me feel like damn, why can't you do that for your own kid?
I used to be mad hype for my fly auntie to pick me up from school, or do my hair for my little house parties, or take me shopping at all the expensive stores my mom wouldn't take me to. Then me and Nae got closer and closer...and I had to cut the bitch off.
Now we only spoke every once in a blue, so when she called me to do her makeup for some party she was going to, I just came over here real quick to hold her down.
But imma be in and out.
After a few seconds, the door came open, and her husband Mav was standing in the doorway. As soon as he saw me, he smiled real wide. Mav always been cool...I knew his pockets was deep because Auntie Cyn ain't fuck with no nigga below a certain tax bracket. He was paid and he spent it like he was. He kept her dripped out in high fashion head to toe, in a nice ass crib. They even had chefs and maids coming in and outta here. She wouldn't have no less.
Who you think I learned my game from? Keep a nigga with some cash and then extra cash, that's the motto.
"Whassup Lil Cam? Been a minute."
"Yeah, it has." I kept it short, dragging my makeup case up the last step and through the front door. This shit was nicer than I remember. Marble floors, high ceilings...it even smelled like money.
"Ya aunt is upstairs in her cave...and ya cousins in the living room. They gon' be happy to see you stranger."
I flashed him a quick, obviously fake smile and walked towards the arched entryway that spilled into the living room. As promised, CiCi and Sasha were laid out on two different couches, one watching the TV and the other one on a laptop.
"Hey hoesss." I sang, watching both their heads pop up to see who it was. Immediately, they smiled just like their dad did, and shot up from the couch to run over to me.
"Steph!"
"We missed you!"
They slapped their arms around me in a tight ass hug, that I reluctantly returned. I ain't like being hugged on and shit but I ate it for my little cousins. I honestly felt a little bad that I ain't check on them more. CiCi's only 11, and Sasha is 8, they ain't have nothing to do with the drama between me, Nae and our mothers. That shit existed before they was even born.
