CHAPTER 11 - Esasement

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"To heal is to touch with love that touch was previously touched by fear"

(Midnight while he was observing her im his car)

When the whole world was sleeping, Reyansh chosed to stare his girl all over night seeing her feeling relished and cherished she was hugging his jacket and he felt hapoy seeing her cherushing his stuffs even tho not him but his stuffs.

With no time he felt asleep with the sounds of rain, ananya woke up in the middle of night because she was feeling uneasy looked at her phone where the clock was striking at 2:00 am, her eyes fell on him, and feels he must be feeling cold so he covers him with the jacket he gave to her
She starts searching her phone but ends up getting Reyansh's

"Kya karu, iska fingerprint lekar iski jasoosi karu kya? Nhi nhi..uth gya toh maar daalega...acha chordho kya hi frk padta hai let me see why he was not letting me touch his phone" - she says

She slowly and steadily wins to open his phone and giggles
"Now that's a proud moment" she murmers

She was going thru his phone but every single thing was having a one time password, if we chose to enter a wrong one, you may end up loosing all the data she was definitely disappointed, but then her eyes flatten on a folder named
"Personal"
Surprisingly it was not password protected but hidden, she just opens it and realizes its a folder with so many poems, quotes, paras, probably written by him, she was a bookworm and a writing cherisher, she moves ahead to one of them and reads it.

________

You are the kindest thing
That ever happend to me,
Even if that is not how our tale is gold,

When everyone else told me
I was destined to be a forgotten nymph
That nurtured flower and turn meadows gold

You saw that the ichor that resides in me
Demanded its own thrown
You showed me

How to love like hours can turn
Even the darkest, coldest realm
Into the happiest of homes

- Reyansh
________

She understood it was written on her, because he always mentioned about his dark phase getting filled up with lights and sparkles becaus of her

She goes a bit down to his writing logs and finds out a file named

"Things you will never know and were unsaid"

You know babe what's the difference between us? You judged for the words i said, and i forgave you for the words you meant
I see you everday, infront of me i stalk you just to know if you are doing well or not, from a distance so that you can heal yourself from the stuffs which were never meant from my side, everything had a reason behind it, i had one too, but did you ever tried to look after it? You were not mature enough to understand it in these years ydk but i did saw you crying over everything happened
Kaash, tum ye smjh paati ki kahani ke sirf ek pehlu mai sirf aadha sach hi hota hai
I hurted you, true, but i never used you
Loving you was not a pre planned mission for me but a sudden action, i took...per tumhe khushi toh iss baat per thi ki tumhe ye laga ki maine sirf use kiya,
You were not just the one to get hurt
Have you ever thought abt my side? Its just i never speak about it or explain it in front you anyone doesnt mean i was wrong...khair
Agar koi duur jana chahta hai toh usse jaane do...agar aapka hoga toh mil hi jaayega, or agar nhi toh woh aapka kabhi thaa hi nhi...

"Aftohn ke daur mai chein ki ghari hai tu"
(In the era of calamaties, you are a moment of peace)


Reading this makes ananya go panic for a eecond and she closes his phone with a speed in her hand and keeps it away from her while tears were falling from her eyes she was sobbing and try to comfort herself,
Her eyes were filled with regrets of how she made him feel the one who is the reason of whatever happened she looks at him and murmers continuously "I am sorry...i am sorry Reyansh..i- was selfish...to never understand your pov well i still dont know what even happened between us, i just walked away, i realised, yet i will still pretend to be selfish infront of you so that i can get closure to the secret you are keeping away from me"
She softly helds his hands in his sleep so that he wont wake up

She wipes her tears off and calms herself down

"I'm definitely ready to face our demons again"

With all these stuffs she decides to sleep again, and let this night filled with regretion fade away
Her thoughts were over rising and was leading her to overthink whatever she did, she was trying to maje herself understand that now its time to face everything and sort it out,

While she was thinking at that moment Reyansh in his sleep pulled her closer unintentionally and she got scared, getting goosebumps with his sudden touch, she turns towards him feeling his heat all over herself & pats his jhead cherishingly
His lips colliding almost to her neck and his warm breath touching her soft skin, the tension on her face was visible

"Ye close toh aise aata hai maano iski biwi hu mai, shyd bhool jaata hai that we ain't together anymore, janaab se resist nhi hota naa hi conscious state mai naa hi sleeping state main meri heart rate bss badhaate jaa rha" - she thinks

"Kahega mtlb nhi hai aapse hame, kaam hai bss isliye, yee bhi bada acha kaam hai woah" - she adds

With this she closes her eyes and sleeps with a little improvement in her thoughts and misunderstanding regarding him yet not satisfied with the thing she got to see

________

NEXT PART TOMORROW

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