The Ice Queen's Rebound

Epilogue I

Yes, there will be a part II ;)

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Carmel Lucia

Hawak ko ang kamay ni Beaux habang nakatingin kami pareho sa puntod ng Mama niya. Green bermuda grass sorround her gravestone, as the sun hit our skin. I pushed the lock of my hair that was blown by the wind, behind my ear. Bee is in my parents' house, she's there because she wanted to see her Lola and Lolo, my parents also decided that they will be the one to take their granddaughter to the family island later on.

Ngunit bago naman kami magpunta doon ay sinabi ko kay Beaux na gusto kong bisitahin ang Mama niya.

"...She wasn't the best mother, she didn't give me the bare minimum either, but it hurt when she died." He said.

I nodded as I listened to him intently. His hold tightened on my hand.

"...Masakit na nawala siya pero at the same time, masaya ako para sa kanya..." His tone quivered, his eyes turning glossy dahil sa nagbabadyang mga luha. Tuluyan naman akong lumapit sa kanya at yumakap sa kanyang gilid, he put his arm around me. "I was glad that she passed not because I hated her or I had anger for her, I was glad that she passed because she was in so much pain on her last days to the point that all the medications were not working a-anymore." Tuluyang tumulo ang luha niya.

He looked at me with bloodshot eyes, I looked back at him with empathy.

"We were in the hospital and she was crying and telling me that she didn't wanna let go because she wanted to be well para makabawi raw siya sa akin. I knew she was telling me that because she wanted to feel better for herself, 'cause she wanted to be with big guy up there in the clouds." He shook his head as sobbed softly

I nodded, letting him know that I heard him, thoroughly and completely. That I share his grief.

"She never said sorry like she meant it, but I could see how much she was suffering from pain from all the complications in her organs, so, I-I told her I forgave her, so she could let go......the next hour, she passed."

Humigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya.

"This was the first time I went here because I just didn't think I could...but because of you, I did it."

I smiled somberly and wiped the tears on his flushed cheek. Napatingin naman akong muli sa gravestone ng mama niya na may pangalan at death year niya.

"...I knew you didn't like me....you were very clear about it..." I chuckled humorlessly. "Pero gusto ko pong malaman niyo na mahal na mahal ko po si Beaux at hinding-hindi ko po siya iiwan kahit kailan.....we have a baby girl together and I wished you would've met her, and even if you didn't, we will make sure that she'll know about you....at least the good parts of you......"

Beaux chuckled humorlessly as he held me against him.

"And Tita Elaisa, I hope that you find peace wherever you are."

I am a woman of science and my career and life-long passion in medicine taught me to believe and rely on tangible things.

Because quite frankly, as a doctor and surgeon, what I can't see won't be able to help me at all.

What I meant by that is in order for me to save a life, I look and rely on  things that I see like the patient's blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen sat, respirations, temperature, lab results.

I won't be able to save a life either if I just sit and wish that they would be well, while they're bleeding out, having an active heart attack, or pushing a premature baby.