The Ice Queen's Rebound

Prologue

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If you are experiencing medical emergency or problems DO NOT refer to the medical information in this book. Please seek help from a licensed healthcare provider.

                 Thank you and happy reading!

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Dr. Carmel Lucia Gozar Jonas

Ever since I was a kid, alam ko na, na attracted ako sa mga lalaki. I've had crushes when I was in elementary school, and flings in medical school. Though, I didn't have anyone when I was in highschool and college because I was only thirteen when I entered the first year of my pre-med course. The reason why is because I am gifted with such a high I.Q, thanks to my parents' spectacular genes.

It wasn't necessarily fun being ahead of my peers. Going to college as a prepubscent teen surrounded with grown and older people was lonely because obviously, who would want to be friends with me? And second, I was being made fun of by some immature åssholes mostly from frats.

So, those four years of my life were hell, but also an important part because that's when I started noticing girls. Like how their shirts shape their breasts, how pleasant it is to hear their giggles, how attractive it is when they smile, or how I get a 'pulse' between my legs when I think about kissing them.

Hindi ko iyon masyadong binigyan ng ibig sabihin noong una kasi akala ko ay normal 'yon as a 'straight' person, until nasabi ko kay Madison 'yung mga nararamdam ko tuwing nakakakita ako ng babae na type ko sa campus. Akala ko ay sasabihin niya sa akin na ganoon din ang nararamdaman niya, but then she told me how smart and dumb I was, that it's not just a girl-crush or anything.

She said that I might actually like girls too.

At first, I was panicking because how could I possibly like girls when growing up, I only like boys? I was having a whole crisis and told my parents about it right away. I remember they sat me down on the dinner table. Mama and Papa provided me such safe space like they always do, that I just started talking without them asking. Nakuwento ko sa kanila lahat ng akala ko ay 'normal' na maramdaman ng isang babaeng attracted lang sa lalaki. At kung paano ako naguguluhan at nalilito.

When I was done spewing everything out, they didn't tell me that I was a mistake. Instead, they talked to me with such patience, compassion, love, and not an ounce of judgement on their faces. Sinabi nila sa akin na walang mali kung babae at lalaki, ang gusto ko dahil kahit sino man daw ang matipuhan ko ay mamahalin at susuportahan nila ako kahit anong mangyari.

They also talked to me about how there are other identities out there. About how okay it is if I am confused at the moment, because I have my whole life to explore and find out who I am, and once I do find out, they told me one thing that I should never do and that is hate and hide the person that I found. They told me and encouraged me to take pride in who I am instead.

I cried because of the overwhelming good feeling in my chest. I hugged my parents so tight because I was so thankful. They were so true to their word because they stuck by my side as I found myself through the years.

Today, I can proudly say that I am Carmel Lucia Gozar-Jonas and I am bisexual.

And sure, people can say a lot of things but the only opinion that I value about myself is from my parents, my cousins, my uncle and auntie, because they are the best and the most supportive family that I could ever ask for. I remember when I came out to my Kuya Simon, he's so supportive in his own nerdy way that he told me that he can hack the dating app and make all the girls match with me.