Spiderman Oneshots

Egg

"What?" Peter stared at the egg. He glanced around, then suspiciously back at the egg.

There was nobody else around. He wasn't sure what he'd expected; he was on top of the Empire State Building, after all.

And yet.

And yet there was an egg, tied with a yellow ribbon to the spire of the building.

"Do you see him?" Ned's voice asked over the comms. Peter snapped out of his existential questioning, remembering that he'd come up here for the vantage point, not for... well. He placed a hand on the spire above the egg and planted his feet beneath it, swinging himself out like a flag and using his free hand to shade his eyes from the sun as he scanned the buildings below. "Spider-Man?"

"I'm here. I'm not seeing anyth- there!" He caught a glimpse of green smoke drifting up between skyscrapers. "Looks like he's back on the ground. Pursuing now. Tracker still working?"

"Yeah, I've got you."

Peter launched himself off the building and flipped through the rushing air, shooting a web and zipping across the skyline towards the fading smoke. The ground plummeted closer and Peter forgot all about the egg. He had a villain to catch.

Once he'd captured the bad guy and stopped a couple of crimes, Peter was just chilling on a rooftop, chatting to Ned, when he remembered the egg.

He sat upright.

"Ned."

"What? What is it?" He heard Ned's keyboard over the comms. "I don't see any activity in your area?"

"No, nothing like that - but earlier, when I was looking for the trail- Ned, there was an egg on top of the Empire State Building."

Ned hesitated. "An... egg?"

"Yes! Right at the top."

"Like, a chicken egg?"

Peter thought for a moment. In the heat of the moment he hadn't really processed it. "Um. I don't think so? It was tied with yellow ribbon, I remember that."

"I mean, it is Easter tomorrow? So maybe. I... I don't even know."

"Is there anything going on right now?"

A few seconds of clicking as Ned scanned through reports. "No, you're clear. Going to check it out?"

"Yeah," Peter was already moving, building enough momentum to swing himself up almost to the top of the skyscraper so he didn't have to climb as far. The egg was still there. "It's still here," he said.

"Is it a chocolate egg?"

"I don't know," Peter moved closer, frowning at the egg. "It's wrapped in foil, but it looks egg-sized." For a minute they both just breathed. "I'm going to touch it."

"Your funeral," Ned replied.

Carefully, Peter reached out and tapped the egg. Nothing happened. Next he pulled at the bow tied in the ribbon, and it unravelled, dropping the egg into Peter's waiting hand. It was heavy.

"Okay, I have the egg."

"Copy that. Are you going to unwrap it?"

"Yeah," Peter said. Foil crinkled. "Um."

"Um?"

"It's. Ned. Uh, it's an egg."

"We've established this."

"No, like, an actual egg. Shell egg. Omelette egg."

"What? Someone tied a wrapped up egg to the top of the Empire State?"