Spiderman Oneshots

Droney vs Redwing

"For the last time, I am not apologising to Redwing! I didn't even touch it!"

"He's a him and he's sensitive, leave my baby alone!"

"Who or what is Redwing?" Spidey finally asked in exasperation from his perch on the ceiling.

"Oh, just Sam's stupid-"

"He is not stupid! You take that back!"

Peter couldn't take it anymore. He dropped down between the arguing men.

"Guys!"

"Redwing is only the best drone of all time," Sam rolled his eyes. "He's saved the lives of all these idiots multiple times but they refuse to acknowledge it."

"That's not fair, just because we refuse to thank the machine doesn't mean we don't appreciate it saving us!" Someone called from the other room.

"Nope, Redwing has never saved me. If anything, it just gets in the way."

"So what makes him the best drone in the world?" Peter asked, ignoring everyone but Sam.

"Well, he's pretty robust, I have full control and camera access from my suit-"

"You have to remote control him?"

"...yeah?"

"Can he talk?"

"No?" 

"But he has a personality, right?"

"Um..."

Peter's brow furrowed. "He doesn't sound nearly as cool as Droney."

"Droney?" Several Avengers asked, looking up in interest.

"Yeah, he's my drone!" Peter said.

Sam sniffed haughtily. "So what makes your drone superior?"

"Well he's not really mine because I didn't make him, only added updates, and I can't say for sure he's better because I haven't seen Redwing yet, but Droney is just amazing!"

"Go on."

"Well for starters he fits into my suit for when I'm not using him, but he's really friendly and responds super well to. voice commands. I can send him off on recon missions for weeks and he can store up to 100 hours of video and audio locally when he's offline. I can contact him remotely through my suit to check up, and he's programmed to always return to me as soon as an instruction is completed, so I can't lose him. His small size makes him great for stealth, not to mention how cool he looks, and he's got voice recognition so he can't be used against me." Peter smiled happily. "But I'm sure Redwing has loads of really cool features too."

Sam blinked, then scowled. "Redwing's way better than your robot. How many lives has yours saved? Oh yeah, none. And as for Droney, what kind of name is that?"

The room exploded into chaos. Somehow most of the Avengers were there by now, and soon they'd all taken sides. 

"Sam's my best friend and Redwing is a great drone, sorry Peter," Steve stood by Sam.

"I can't believe I'm siding with Sam, especially after that rejection, but it was Redwing that took you out at the airport battle Spidey," Bucky sighed.

Toney clapped Peter on his shoulder. "I made that drone to be the best and Peter's updated it since. Much better than some government-issue bot. Isn't that right Droney?"

The tiny metal spider detached itself from Peter suit and hovered at Tony's eye-level, whistling and clicking cheerily.

Clint awed at the adorable drone and went to stand by Peter. Natasha followed -"You had me at stealth."

Bruce was too busy too participate, working on some vaccine or something for a potentially world-destroying disease.

"Redwing isn't so bad," Wanda sided with Sam.

"I don't care about Droney, but no way am I siding with Redwing." Rhodey stood by Peter.

"I'm sorry my love, but all the evidence points towards Droney being the superior robot," Vision followed Rhodey, and proceeded to have a conversation in morse code with Droney.

The two teams stared at each other across the living room, fists clenched. Just then, there was a clap of thunder and Thor appeared between them. He looked around, puzzled. "What's going on here?"

They explained the situation, and Thor nodded understandingly. "There is only one way to settle this!" He boomed. "The metal birds must have a duel! The victor is superior!"

Ten minutes later, they had set up in a training room. The Avengers would watch the battle from behind a reinforced glass wall. Sam was frantically typing on his screen, preparing Redwing to win. Peter let Droney land in his hand. "Win this thing, okay? I believe in you! And... feel free to show off a little."

Droney clicked in confirmation, and whirred back into the air. He followed Redwing into the stadium and hovered, ready.

"Remember, anything goes! On your marks... Get set... Fight!" The viewing area erupted into cheers as the two drones faced each other. Sam stood close to the glass, intense concentration evident on his features as he piloted Redwing. Peter stood with his supporters, cheering Droney on.

Sam wasted no time, and Redwing immediately launched a series of small missiles. Droney dodged them all easily, then disappeared. 

"What? Where'd he go?" Wanda gasped.

"Camo mode," Stark grinned. "You really did update him."

Peter beamed and watched carefully as Droney reappeared behind Redwing. "How'd he move so fast?"

Sam swore, trying to turn Redwing around, but Droney dodged all its attacks easily, chirping as it did so. Peter's team cheered.

"Don't get too cheerful!" Steve yelled. "Droney can't fight back, there's only so long before one of the attacks lands!"

Steve was wrong. Hearing him, Droney zipped underneath Redwing.

"Wait!" Sam yelled. "He's out of camera range!" Redwing spun as Sam panicked. Droney attached to the underside of the other bot and used hidden laser cutters to enter Redwing's system. Alarms started blaring from Sam's screen.

"Full system reboot required," Redwing fell to the floor, smoking slightly. Droney flew out from underneath and whirred towards the glass. 

"What's it- He can't-" But he could. Droney slipped under the minuscule gap between the glass and ceiling, and landed on Sam's head. He was so light that the Falcon didn't even notice, too preoccupied with getting his contestant back online. Before his teammates could point Droney out, the drone flew down onto the remote control screen, becoming camouflaged again. A second later, the screen turned off. Redwing had been defeated.

"2 minutes and 4 seconds," Natasha read off the stopwatch. "New record."

"Droney is the victor!" Thor announced. "He is the superior drone! Congratulations, Man of Spiders!"

Peter's team whooped as Droney buzzed around their heads, clicking joyfully. Sam rushed onto the duel ground.

"No damage to Dromney, not even any permanent damage to Redwing. Impressive," Bucky admitted. "Sorry guys, I'm with Peter now."

"Betrayal," Steve murmured dramatically. "This is war."

And that is how the second civil war started-

I'm just kidding, they made muffins and figured out their differences over a glass of milk.