Spiderman Oneshots

Group chat (3)

**Men who beat up children**

Electro: Is school over yet Spidey?

Shocker: Would you like a glass of milk and a cookie?

Sandman: Got much homework tonight?

Vulture: Honestly if I didn't know better I'd think you were the children here.

Spidey: thank you

Spidey: and yes I would like a cookie please

Electro: Would you like some gummy bears too?

Spidey: would you like a fist in the face?

Shocker: ooooooooo

Peter closed his phone, smiling, and pulled on his mask. He was a little annoyed that a bunch of villains knew his age, but he had nobody to blame but himself. He'd become closer to them all and texted more frequently, having modified his normal phone to fit two SIM cards but never show notifications from his Spidey phone unless a second password was entered. He'd also put in a speaker that pinged at such a high pitch that only he could hear it with his enhanced senses, so there wouldn't be another incident like the geography trip one.

"There is activity in the city centre," Karen alerted him almost immediately.

"Got it," he swung in that direction. It was Electro - of course it was Electro. "HEY UGLY!" Spidey yelled. "Can't believe you looked!" He laughed as Electro swung his head towards him.

Spider-Man cautiously landed on the pavement in front of Electro, who was just larger than a normal human person rather than a giant rage-monster. Either that was good, or very very bad.

"Spider-Man," Electro grinned.

"Electro," Spidey said warily, suddenly aware of how this was a villain who knew a massive secret about him, not just a bodiless text on a screen. "What are you up to now?"

Electro suddenly burst out laughing and Peter just stood there, stunned. "Is there something on my face?"

"I-I'm sorry," he wiped sparks from his eyes. "I just can't take you seriously."

"Well that's just rude," Spidey shot a web at him. Electro dodged but didn't retaliate.

"I can't fight you," Electro wheezed, shaking his head. "Want some gummy bears?" He doubled over in laughter again. Spidey stood there, unimpressed, until Electro turned into pure energy and disappeared into a lamppost. 

"Karen, tell me there's someone around here I can actually fight."

"It appears that Batroc is robbing a watch store nearby."

"Perfect."

**Gummy bears. Really?***

Spidey: I have a new favourite villain.

Sandman: I'm guessing it's not me

Spidey: Batroc

Sandman: WHAT

Electro: Hey that's not fair

Spidey: at least he fights me instead of rUnNiNg AwAy

Sandman: Why what happened

Spidey: Electro just stood there and laughed at me

Spidey: which is rude.

Electro: XD XD XD

Sandman: oh dear.

Electro: I couldn't hurt a child!

Electro: I mean I could and I have done but not Spidey!