shameless killers | billie eilish

[3] control

billie o'connell

i wake up in an unfamiliar place and weight on my body. i look down to see arianna.

shit.

i ease my way out of her grasp without waking her up. i slip my shoes on and my hoodie on and quickly leave.

i get in my car and get my phone out, it's dead.

i quickly speed home.

"where were you?!" my mom says as i enter the house.

"i had to take a friend home from the party. i ended up staying there and my phone died. sorry" i tell her before walking through to my room.

i put my phone on charge and kick my shoes off before getting into my bed.

i notice a couple of people texted me, especially the groupchat.

fuckers

drew
where the fuck billie at

drew
she didn't come back after taking arianna home

dani
idk she hasn't answered my texts

cole
neither

drew
@billie where tf r u???
@billie
@billie

i'm home

dani
bruh
where the fuck did u go

🤫
i went somewhere
my phone died
only got home 5 mins ago

cole
WHERE

drew
WHERE.

that's for me to know and for y'all to figure out
i'm ok though lmao

cole
u finna have us all bald headed from how much u disappear

drew
FR

lmao
bye going to sleep

-

i wasn't actually going to sleep, i'm going to finneas' room.

i get my notebook and sit in finneas' room.

i've been watching you for some time
cant stop staring at those ocean eyes

i write down.

i think for a moment before writing more down.

burning cities and napalm skies
fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes
your ocean eyes

no fair
you really know how to make me cry
when you gimme those ocean eyes

if you cant tell i'm writing this about someone lol.
i always need to put my feelings into music or else they'll get all bottled up.

i love singing and i love writing songs, i'll never produce them though. i couldn't.

i don't know what else to write.
i cant exactly pin point how she makes me feel. it's definitely a weird feeling, scary almost.