shameless killers | billie eilish

[16] admitting

billie o'connell
2 months later

"so you're actually being for real?" arianna asks in disbelief. we both got into a fight today, as in, we fought two other people.

"yes miss miller, i am. you and billie are being kicked out. you both have been in way too many fights that have resulted in people being in hospital. we cant have it anymore, you'll get transferred schools" she explains.

yeah. so, we're getting kicked out lol.

i wasn't even shocked when we got told, it was bound to happen anytime soon.

"we'll get transferred together right?" arianna asks. "we don't know. depends how full the school is" the principal says.

"nah come on dude. find a school that'll take both of us cause trust i ain't going nowhere without her" i say.

"we cant guarantee it" the principal says.

"man fuck y'all! fuck all y'all! don't bother transferring me cause it ain't happening. imma get kicked out, fine, but that's me done. fuck y'all i'm out" arianna says as she gets up and leaves.

"i ain't never coming back" she yells before slamming the door.

i quickly get up and follow her. "stupid bitches. they think they finna send me to another school" arianna mumbles.

we get in my car and drive home, time to break the news to my mom!!

we walk in and she greets us. "hi guys! why are you back so early?" my mom says with a smile. no dont be in a good mood. it'll be harder to tell you.

"we're good. just had some news" i awkwardly say. "billie.. i told you-" my mom says but i cut her off.

"just listen please" i tell her. she looks between arianna and i.

"so, we got into another fight-"

"billie-" she goes to yell.

"mom! listen" i snap.

"we got into another fight and got sent to the principals office. she told us that, we're, uh- kicked out" i say, trying to find the right words.

"you're WHAT?" she yells. "both of you?!"

"yes. i'm so sorry mags" arianna says. "listen mom, on the bright side you don't have to deal with anymore bullshit from the school" i say trying to lighten the mood.

"so what's gonna happen now? you're both just gonna stay at home? get jobs that pay $5 an hour for the rest of your lives?" my mom says.

"no- i don't know. they said they were gonna transfer us schools but we want to go together and they don't know if they can do that" i explain to her.

"well billie if you cant go together you'll just have to deal with it. i'm not having you throw your whole future away" she says.

"well i was thinking.. you know since you're smart and all mom.. you could homeschool us?" i suggest.

arianna looks at me like i'm crazy. "you really want her to put up with us 24/7 now?! us going to school gives your mom a break" she says.

"i'll have to think about it" mom says. "now go. just go" she sighs.

we go to billies room and sit on the bed. "do you not feel bad?" arianna asks. "kinda. yeah" i reply.

"look arianna i need to tell you something" i say. "what is it?" she questions.

"i like you" i blurt out. "i like you but i don't know if i can commit to things" i say.

she furrows her brows for a moment, "that's okay. you can take your time. i'll wait" she smiles.

"i don't know ari. i've not felt like this in a long long time and it's really scary. i don't do feelings, i don't do love and all that shit, i cant. i always fuck it up because i don't know the 'rules' or whatever it is of being in a relationship. they always bust me for 'cheating' but i don't know how far it is until it's called cheating, i genuinely don't know that shit. i wanna try with you, i really do but i don't wanna fuck shit up. i cant" i rant to arianna.

"look, bil, it's okay. i get it, i'll wait for you. i've liked you ever since i came to the school" she admits.

"let's take our time then" i smile. "of course" she says.

i give her a small kiss before cuddling into her. "i never thought billie o'connell could be so soft" she says.

"shut the fuck up" i say seriously. "mhm" she says and pulls me back down.

i'm happy. i hope i don't fuck shit up.

(a/n): small chapter.

billie finally admitted her feelingssss
this is a slow burn for definite LMAO.

- leila