Little Dipper

A.I.

"Is Bill back yet?" Mabel asked.

"Not yet. At least all the citizens are out." Gideon looked out at the clearing out mall area. "Well, all but us." He looked back at the scene.

–

"Bill, what are you going to do?" Dipper asked.

"To defeat an A.I., you have to destroy the source. I'm going to give her the choice of giving up or death." Bill said as he put the CD back in its case.

"Death?" Dipper asked. "No, don't kill her!"

"It's either her or us, kid. Sometimes we have to make the hard choice." Bill said grimly as he picked Dipper up and headed out of Soos' house. "See you, Mrs. Ramirez."

"Do we have to kill her?" Dipper asked as they headed back to the mall.

–

The table bounced off the magic shield as Giffany let out an enraged yell. "You can't hide forever, boyfriend! I'll get you and kill your girlfriend and then we can be together forever! You're MINE!"

'Yeesh, to think I was almost that bad.' Gideon thought. "How is she doing?"

"She'll be okay." Soos said, holding Melody close. "I feel so bad, I should be the one protecting her...this is all my fault."

"No, I'd say this is all the fault of whoever was crazy enough to invent her, but let's not worry about that." Gideon looked over at Giffany, who was looking for something else to throw.

"But I must've broke it off badly. I really am bad at this relationship thi--"

"Don't even think of finishing that sentence." Mabel interrupted Soos sternly. "Bill said already that it's because you went against her programming. She already killed one guy for deciding to break up with her, so don't even try to blame yourself!"

"Come out, come out, wherever you are~!" Giffany said from all the screens.

"Giffany, baby!" The doors burst open and Bill came in. "I think it's time for you to simmer down and stop trying to kill people!"

She turned her attention to the demon. "What?!"

"You heard me!" Bill held up the game case. "If you don't stop now, I'm gonna burn this thing up! You'll die!"

She growled and turned her animatronic body towards him. "Give that to me!" She ran to him.

"Pine Tree, go join the others." Bill said, nudging him gently. "Come on, Gif. It's life or death here. Which is it gonna be? Will you really die for an unrequited love? That's a little Shakespearean, isn't it?" He dodged her reaching hand. "Give up on him and you'll live! Refuse, and you'll die!"

"No! Never! You won't keep me from him! Give me my disc!" She swiped at it again but he dodged.

Dipper ran over to the others. "Bill's being really cruel...isn't there another way?"

"We tried reasoning with her already. I doubt your childish charm is going to work here." Gideon said grimly.

"So, he's just gonna kill her?" Dipper asked.

He heard a familiar voice and ran over to a Fight Fighters machine. Kneeling down, he saw that it was the exact same one! But how? Was it moved? "I need height!"

"Height?" Mabel frowned. "What are you doing, Dipper?"

Dipper looked at her. "Rumble! He's another A.I., just like her! If anyone can talk sense into her, it's him!"

"Seriously?" Gideon frowned. "Another A.I.?"

"Come on, let's summon him!" Dipper hopped up and down.

"Well, it's worth a shot!" Mabel shrugged and left the safety of the shield to help him.

"Hey, wait! Are you two crazy?" Soos asked.

"Who the heck is Rumble?" Gideon frowned and lowered the shield. The robot seemed distracted, for now.

"Left, left, P, P, right, left, down, K, K, diagonal, P, P, P, K." Dipper said as Mabel moved the controls for him.

The machine flashed a bright blue light. "CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER!"

"Rumble McSkirmish!" Dipper said firmly. Then he took several steps back as the light brightened and the character appeared in front of the screen. "Rumble! Hi!"

"Oh, THAT guy." Gideon said from his hiding place. "WHY did they summon him again?"

"You! Boy-child! Have you come to challenge me again? I will gladly have a REMATCH!" He did a few kicks and punches.

"No, no! We need you to fight someone! She's trying to kill my friend!" Dipper said, shaking his head.

"And your father?" Rumble asked.

"What do you have against my dad? He's not here for her to attack, but she is hurting my friend and he's kind of a father-figure, so close enough, right?"

"Pine Tree, what are you doing?" Bill asked, the duo having noticed what was going on.

Giffany gasped on her screens, hearts in her eyes. "Oh...myyyyyyyyyyyyyy...."

"Or maybe you don't have to fight." Mabel commented. "Make love not war!"

"What is it with you and telling people to make love?" Bill asked her.

Giffany glitched on her screens and then appeared on the Fight Fighters screen for a bit before appearing next to him in pixelized, but human-sized, form. "I have decided that I have found a better boyfriend."

"A what?" Rumble asked.

"I release you as my boyfriend, Soos. Go be with your human girlfriend." She linked her arm with Rumble's.

"...Am I fighting her or what?" Rumble asked.

"Do you know how to kiss?" Mabel asked.

"I know how to fight." He pulled his arm away.

Giffany grabbed his arm again. "I will fight for you, if you will fight for me~!"

"Whoa." Bill laughed nervously. "This just got really weird."

"Uh...I think I will return to the virtual world." Rumble said as the screen started to glow behind him.

"Take me with you~!" Gifanny said as the light engulfed them both. When it faded, they saw Rumble running from Giffany as she ran after him on the screen.

"Well. That's one way to handle it." Bill walked over and slipped the disc into the machine. "See ya, crazy A.I.."

She paused and turned to them. "I'm NOT crazy! Well, I guess I am. CRAZY IN LOVE~!" She ran on off-screen.

"Poor Rumble." Bill laughed.

"Yay! My plan worked! Well, I didn't intend that ending, but getting Rumble to help worked!" Dipper hopped up and down in excitement.

"Oh..." Melody groaned as she came to.

"Melody, are you okay?" Soos asked.

"Soos." Melody smiled and hugged him. "You're okay, thank goodness! I thought that I would've lost you!"

"I'm here." Soos assured her, holding her close.

Gideon walked over to the others. "Let's leave them alone." He suggested. "Jesús will be fine."

"And they lived happily ever after." Mabel giggled.

"Which ones?" Bill asked as they walked out.

"Bye, Soos!" Dipper called as the doors closed behind them.