Jeff Again

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"Mabel!" Dipper called. "Can you help me reach something?"

"I'm busy, ask Bill." Mabel said as she counted money in the register drawer.

"But Bill is talking with Stan!" Dipper walked into the kitchen, where Bill was human-size and seated in a chair across the kitchen table from Stan. "Bill?"

"Yeah, Pine Tree?" Bill asked.

"Can you help me with something?" Dipper asked.

"Get a chair." Stan told him. "I'm not done grilling your friend yet."

"Oh, boy. What's next?" Bill asked.

"I don't care if you're usually tiny. No man, demon or not, is going to be in the same room as my undressing niece." Stan said firmly.

"Oh, come on, she doesn't care!" Bill threw his hands up. "And I'm not at all interested in human bodies!"

"That's not the point! If you can be rooms away from Dipper, then you can leave the room while she changes clothes!" Stan said firmly.

Bill groaned. "Oookay. Anything else?"

"Did you burn the floor of my basement?" Stan asked.

"Uh, yeah, to save Shooting Star's life. Unlike Gideon, I can't use water magic." Bill said matter-of-factly. "It's just fire and illusions for me."

"And did you rip the tarp?" Stan asked.

"No." Bill shook his head. "The clones did."

"Did you mess with the machine?" Stan asked.

"No. But the kids did see it, and I said it was a portal and it didn't work." Bill assured him.

"You told them it was a portal?!" Stan cried.

"Oh, you knew?" Bill raised an eyebrow.

Stan sputtered and then looked at Dipper. "Why are you still here? I said to use a chair!"

"Okay, okay!" Dipper left the two, looking over curiously as he headed for the lightest chair to drag it over. "I wish I were bigger." He pouted and climbed up on the chair to get down the cereal he wanted.

Later, he was reading the 3rd journal when he found a page on crystals that would change your size. They were out in the woods, apparently. He walked over to the door and opened it. "Bill? Can we go into the woods?"

"Sure." Bill floated over to him, back in his tiny form. "Anything to get away from your uncle. I think he grills me more than he does Gideon."

"Gideon is nine!" Stan called out to him.

"Big ears." Bill mumbled.

Dipper grinned and showed him the crystals. "I wanna find these."

"Okay, the Journal says it should be somewhere around here." Bill said as they made their way into the woods. "Though, why do you want to be taller?"

"Because I'm tired of being told to find a chair or having to ask for help! I want to be big!" Dipper dropped down and picked up a rock. "No, this isn't the crystal..." He threw it away.

A grunt sounded and then a large boar poked its head out of the brush, looking furious. "Uh oh." Bill cringed. "Uh, can you stop it?" Dipper asked.

"I'll try. You get out of here." Bill motioned to him.

"Okay." Dipper moved away slowly, Bill keeping the boar's attention on him. "How can it see you?"

"Animals can see spirits and ghosts and demons." Bill replied. "Just keep going, Pine Tree. The crystals shouldn't be much further."

"Okay." Dipper nodded, walking on.

He found the crystals in a clearing, so many of them growing out of the ground. He saw a bee fly through the crystals, growing bigger and then smaller and then returning to normal size. "Whoa..." He walked over and picked up a little piece, then held it out in the light, turning it this way and that, playing with the size of his hand. "Haha! Bill, look at this! It's so cool!"

"You!"

"Huh?" Dipper looked over to see one of the gnomes glaring at him. Wasn't that the leader? "Uh...Norman, right?" Dipper asked.

"No, it's Jeff. Norman was my fake name, from when I was dating your sister! The girl who SHOULD be my queen!" Jeff declared.

"Uh, she's dating Gideon now." Dipper shrugged.

"Oh, but that will change soon." Jeff whistled and gnomes came out. "Attack him! Take the crystal!"

"Hey!" Dipper stepped back, then yelped as the gnomes attacked.

"Okay, now get on home. Good boar." Bill said, having tamed the beast. Then he heard Dipper let out a yelp and raced over. "Pine Tree! Pine Tree, where are you?!"

"Down here!" Dipper called. Bill looked at the ground and found Dipper looking as small as a doll. "I got attacked!"

"Attacked? By who?" Bill flew over and knelt next to him. "Are you okay?"

"They took my crystal and then turned me tiny and then ran off saying they were going to force Mabel to be their queen!" Dipper said, climbing into his arms. "We have to find Gideon!"

"Wouldn't it be better to find Shooting Star?" Bill asked.

"Mabel can avoid them, but Gideon might be able to stop them!" Dipper said, clinging to Bill. "We gotta hurry!"

"Alright, alright. Let's go find Gideon." Bill sped off to Gideon's Tent of Telepathy.

Gideon had just finished with his show when they arrived and was heading for his trailer to change. He was very surprised to find Dipper in Bill's arms on top of his dressing room mirror. "What's going on?"

"Gnomes. They took a size-changing crystal Pine Tree found and are going after Mabel." Bill explained.

"Gnomes." Gideon made a face and went to a drawer, pulling out a silver whistle. "That's easy enough. Let's get to the Mystery Shack."

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