Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forgetting

Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forgetting: Part 32

9 months Later:

I sat on the sofa with JJ, cuddling up to him ready to put the television on. It wasn't as cosy as normal, my bump and I took up most of the sofa. JJ turned the television on, and we cuddled up. JJ put his hands on my bump and we settled down to watch the show. That was until a sharp pain kicked in my womb. I thought it was nothing. 20 minutes later, another pain. I flinched this time, the pain more intense.

"What's wrong?" Asked JJ.

 That was when I saw it, the wet patch appearing on my jeans. This could only mean one thing.

"It's coming JJ" I said.

JJ shot up immediately, running around like a headless chicken. I on the other hand was the one in the most pain but yet remained calm. JJ ran upstairs to get the maternity bag that we had packed a few weeks ago just in case of an emergency. We rushed straight to the hospital, JJ shouting and swearing at the drivers that woudln't let us past. I was breathing very heavily in the back of the car, never experiencing pain like this. Within minutes, I was in a wheel chair, being rushed through the isles of the hospital through to the delivery room. JJ followed behind, on the phone to my mum and his family. I lay on the bed, the nurse preparing the equipment. Carefully, she opened my legs, JJ at the side of me holding my hand, helping me to keep my breathing pattern steady.

"I need to push" I screamed to the nurse.

"Do what your body tells you" she replied.

I started to push, screaming and shouting at every push. It was a painful 8 hours of labour.  I woudln't wish a pain like this on anyone. I screamed, pushed, screamed a little more, pushed, squeezed JJ's hand so tight that I nearly broke it. My mum and JJ's mum joined us halfway through, standing in the delivery room, helping JJ to help keep me calm.

After an intense 8 and a half hours of pain. Our little girl, Isabelle Louise was born at 9pm. I held her in my arms. The sweat pumping down my face. JJ had his arm around me, gazing into her small eyes as they carefully opened, looking up at her mum and dad. 

"She's beautiful" JJ said.

"She is, isn't she" I replied

"She is...but I was talking about you"

I was sat looking like a sweaty wrestler after giving birth, my hair all greasy and without any make up and JJ still called me beautiful. I gave him the biggest kiss. The nurses took her away from me to get her measured.  JJ helped me to get settled down, putting my head on the pillow. He twirled my hair around his finger as he sang softly in my ear, knocking me to sleep.

I woke up the next morning, to see JJ singing softly to Isabelle, rocking her in his arms in her cute little pink baby grow. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Good morning beautiful" He said, as he returned Issy to her cot besides me.

"Sleep well?" He asked as he kissed my forehead.

"I did thankyou" I replied.

Carefully, the door opened and JJ's mum along with my mum peeped their head around the door.

JJ and I beckoned them in, the crept in along with Otea, JJ's dad and my dad. Otea ran straight over to Isabelle, looking at her, her eyes wide.

"That's your little neice" Said JJ.

The grandparents made a big fuss, passing her around, rocking her and having their photo's taken.  They then left, and I went back to relaxing. I had another three hours of relaxation until I started to hold Isabelle in my hands. Her small hands clutching my fingers. There was a knock on the door. Jaymi, Josh and George popped their head around the door with a massive bouquete of flowers. We welcomed them in. Ella, Lucy and Olly follwing them. They all crowded around the bed, admiring Isabelle. 

"She's got her mothers eyes" George said.

"And her fathers nose" Jaymi  added.

"Can I hold her?" Asked Ella, as I passed her over.

 Carefully, my baby girl was passed around the group and then returned to me. George got his guitar from his bag. I thought that it wouldn't be far away. He started to strum along to a tune.

"Isn't she lovely, isn't she wonderful..." Jaymi began to sing.

"Isn't she precious, under 1 day old" Josh added.

"I never thought through love we'd be, making one as lovely as she" JJ sang.

"But isn't she lovely made from love" George added.

The whole group sang a song of When You Wish Upon A Star to her, knocking her to sleep. They stayed in the room, keeping us company.

As I looked around, surrounded by my family and friends, I realise how far my life has come. I went from losing my best friend, to meeting George. I went through a process of the biggest show in the UK, suffered abuse, married my best friend and now I have the most beautiful baby girl. I thought, that when I left JJ that goodbye meant forever. I never thought I'd ever see him again. However, sometimes, Goodbye Doesn't Mean Forgetting. I looked across at my baby girl and thought of the future. How amazing my life was going to be from this day forward.