Things Fall Apart

16 . LOVE GALORE

"You don't even know me like that." I looked up at him in confusion and he just smiled, like he didn't care. "Fine, gimme two reasons why you like me so much that don't got nothing to do with my looks. Go 'head."

"Aight...well you curved me when I first tried to holla at you, and I like that cause you stood on your shit. Two, you told me you got a baby, right? And you still tryna come to school and get ya education, I think that's fire. That tell me a lot about what kinda person you are. And check this out...I got a third one, so you know I'm not playing." I stood there, keeping up my unimpressed facade as his smile spread. "You seem mad smart. You always moving like you got somewhere to be, you seem focused. I like that in a woman. That's the sexiest thing about you, to me. You know you look good as fuck, I don't gotta keep telling you that, but yeah that caught my attention the first time I saw you."

"Are you done?"

"You gonna let me take you out?"

"I'll think about it." I shook my head in amusement and started to walk away towards my car. I was lying, but maybe we would be friends. He was a nice guy from what I could see...and he did make me laugh a lot. Dutch would love him.

"You been thinking for months."

"So when I give you a answer, you'll know I really mean it." I turned slowly, walking backwards and watching him return my smile. He paused for a second before he jogged over to catch up to me.

"Fine...if you still thinking, lying ass, then at least come to my birthday party I'm throwing next month. It's right before next semester start, and if I run into you there then it ain't a date right?" He took his backpack off, unzipping it and reaching inside. He pulled out a flyer, with a collage of a bunch of his basketball pictures and "KYLES 21ST BIRTHDAY MANSION PARTY" printed in big letters, followed by an address to somewhere in Jersey. "This ain't even out yet, so you got the first one."

"Lucky me. But like I said...I'll think about it. Thanks for walking with me, Kyle."

"You a trip." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Have a nice day Naomi."

"You have a better one."

I hurried and got into my car, releasing a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. For some reason I felt guilty even talking to Kyle...like I was cheating on Chris or something. I know it sounds stupid, and I know I can't repeat that out loud to anybody because they'd judge the shit outta me. But I'm so used to being the well behaved, loyal girlfriend that giving another guy my attention just felt wrong.

I was proud of how good I was at ignoring men who tried to flirt with me, and cutting them down to size. Everybody from Virginia to New York City knew I only wanted, only saw, only desired Christopher Maurice Brown. There was never another option in my eyes.

He clearly didn't see it that way but...here I was still holding onto a title I didn't have anymore. Expectations that weren't on me anymore. For the first time since I was 11 years old, I'm free to do whatever I want.

And I don't want it. I wanted my boyfriend to come to his senses and just...come back to me. I swore to God it would happen when I got to New York too. I knew we didn't need to break up, and it was just the distance making us argue so much.I was ready to tell him "I told you so" and pick up where we left off.

But I was alone in that too.

Either way...as cute as this Kyle guy is, and as bad as I want to be ready...I'm not. I won't be for a long time.

I had a good, short cry in my car and then pulled myself together, blasted some Ashanti and sung my heart out on my drive home. Chris and I made a promise to each other that we'd work on forgiving, and just focus on being good parents, so the last thing we needed was me coming home with us on my mind.