EDGE (H.S.)

83

_______________________________

***

Have you ever seen a grown man cry?
I'm anxious as fuck and my brain is a puddle of hope

***
________________________________

Chapter 83

Harry's Pov.

I slammed my fist into the bag again, over and over until I felt that familiar sting letting me know I had broken open my knuckles again.

Shit.

Tonight did not go how I pictured. But I did have her lips on mine for a second and now i'm oddly feeling fucking worse because she's still not mine again.

And I can't get the words out of my head.

"I don't need you."

I'm so fucking happy she's okay and good on her own, i'm grateful for that, but it hurts to hear she doesn't need me at all because I need her. Desperately. So fucking bad.

This whole past year she's been working towards moving on while I was working towards getting back to her. Now here we are, in two different places.

I know she's still physically into me but I want the other too. I miss the way she wanted me. How she always wanted me to talk to her and tell her things and how she always reassured me i'm not a bad person, even though we all know i'm going to hell, she made me feel like i'm not all that bad. I want her to want those parts of me again too.

And I just don't know if maybe that's too far gone now. It terrifies me and I can feel myself getting anxious again, the sweat pouring off of me as I punched harder and harder, forgetting about the wounds on my knuckles.

"Front Doorbell Alert"

The automated voice on my phone pages and I stopped, looking down at it in confusion.

I should really get one of those fucking doorbells with a camera.

I pressed the elevator button and stepped into it from my garage, letting it take me all the way up. If it's Tyson i'm really hoping he's decided to leave by now because i'm feeling incredibly anxious right now.

I heard the doorbell ring again as I stepped out of the elevator, throwing my sweat drenched shirt on the chair as I walked to the door, opening it without looking through the peep hole.

I was trying to calm my heavy breathes from boxing down but my breathing in general stopped when I saw Renny at my door.

Is my mind fucking tripping now? Am I seeing her now? Hallucinating? Shit i'm going insane.

"I wanna talk now." She said so softly and quietly as if she would cry at any second.

Please don't.

Okay she's actually here right now.

I nodded and opened my door wider but she bit the inside of her lip as if it took everything in her to step foot in here.