Noorur-rahman

Epilogue

One thing you must keep in mind, though,  healing is a process that will almost pull you down, only to bring out the better. So going through it, is only easy when surrounded with people that really make you a matter. It's a process that'll require you to prioritize yourself and face your inner feeling, making patience at the top of the list. The truth is that no one cannot find peace by avoiding life.

We are healed of a suffering, only by experiencing it to the full. Therefore, I can say I passed my past trials through the waking of my inner-self, the one with the power to heal and be the person I was always destined to be.

"Hun, are you still at that?" I see smiled at the intruder, who further intrudes with a peek on my forehead.

"Almost!" I replied trying to save the documents I'm writing on my laptop. I writing a book! Yeyyy!

"I hate to disturb your typing time, but this angel right here is bored of being with daddy." Yes, you heard that right, I have a daughter, a beautiful and lovely one at that.

I smiled at my husband and daughter again after saving my document. And seeing stood up, Ayhan starts giggling, in her father's arms, she knew I'm  coming for her.

"Mamma!" She literally jump in my arms and immediately hug my neck.

"Awnn! I missed you too, angel." I said stroking her back and that makes her to snuggle further into my neck.

"Wallahi, if you have seen how she cried on our way back home, someone will assume I kidnapped her." Her dad said looking us in awe as always. "She refused to even let Nabilah hold her despite her all her efforts."

That made me laugh, "you two have been gone for too long, babe. So it's only fair for this little one to miss her mamma so much." I reasoned with him, he'd a work related meeting with abbah. So he took Ayhan with him,  because she's clinging on to him like a second skin when he's about to leave. And they all missed her.

"Abbah said you made her to be too clingy on you, that she won't even smile without you being there."

"It's okay, love. Don't mind my abbah." I said to Ayhan looking into her big bright eyes, the exact replica of mine. I can only imagine the kind of drama she pulled for abbah to have said that, she's apple of his eyes after all. As for Nabilah, we're used to hearing her called us gluey. Which Auntie Rabi'a soon followed suit.

With a hint of smile still on my face, I sat on the rocking chair in our bedroom, all set to breastfeed my baby girl, my gluey, hah! I rock her to sleep for he'd a long day, clenching her dad shirt.

Well, I don't mind that Ahyan is too clingy on me. Not once did I mind, not even when she decides to sleep only on my chest at night. It doesn't really matter, I will do that and more. She's my daughter and just a baby of one year and three months old. So she will always need me around her.

With Ayhan, it's like repaying my infant-hood, giving her all that warmth only a mother could give. For as long as I breathe air into my lungs, Ayhan will not lack anything I can offer her, I will be that mother I desperately wanted to have in my life back then.

Being a mother has given me the biggest closure, especially in my relationship with my own mother. The birth Ayhan was able to made me see my mother in a more different light, even though we have been good before that. I was able to understand that every mother does what she thinks is the best for her child, even if it turn out that she's wrong. She's her only truth!

My experience had taught that for as long as one is alive, they will never graduate from the school of life, for it's a never ending circle of learning. Some years ago I used to think that my only dream is being abbah's daughter, and till date, I'm still in love with the fact that I'm his daughter, his only child and the love of his life.