"Oh, lookit the lil crabby dude! Go, go be with your people. Scuttle away you cute little fucker."
What did you take this morning?
"Take? Takae? I will take this crab. We're going."
No- Reaper, put the crab down.
"I'm going to name this lil guy Wardy 2, because it's the guardian of my endless suffering."
Quite the bleak outlook on life.
...very. are you good?
"Never. Oh, oh, look! A shell! Oh, it's really cool. Very colorful- Also broken. Aw, man..."
They're still holding the crab.
"It likes me. Wardy 2 is nicer than Wardy 1."
Just because Warden doesn't like it when you go off causing a mess that it would have to clean up doesn't mean it's not nice to you.
"My freedom is being stifled. I am wearing chains. It has locked me in a cage, and I am unable to spread my wings and-"
Set an AU aflame?
"Hey-"
Commit mass homicide? Start a war somewhere? Break the balance into itty bitty pieces?
"Listen-"
Oh hey, another crab.
"What, where? CRABBYYYY! God, this sand makes me so slow- and it's hot. Come here crabby, come join your friend. I'm naming this one Crompty."
What does that even mean?
"I don't know!"
It isn't an existing word, to my knowledge. I believe they just made it up.
"Shut up. Oooo, what's that, Canary?"
Sea glass.
"...the ocean can make glass?"
No, but regular glass gets smoothified when left in the ocean for long periods of time. It's just colorful, smoothed down, regular old glass.
"It's cool. I should have brought a bag with us... Oh, gods, my hair just got stuck on something- Help-"
That's your feet. You're walking on our hair.
"Oh."
Sigh.
Did you just say-
"Yes they did. HEY! GET! MY CRABS!"
Oh god, they're about to fight a bird-
"Evil bird... We were about to be eating chicken for dinner."
It's a seagull.
"Chicken."
That's not a chicken.
"It's an ocean chicken."
I want to bury my head in the sand.
"OH, IS THAT A TURTLE?"
Leave that turtle where it is.
Reaper, don't-
"It's a babyyyyy. Where are your siblings? Show me to them. I will protect them."
Put the turtle down.
"No. It's mine now."
Put it down.
"Fuck you-"
THERE ARE CHILDREN!
"FUCK THEM, TOO! THIS TURTLE, AND THESE CRABS, ARE MY FRIENDS!"
WE CAN'T TAKE CARE OF ANIMALS!
"why not?"
Well, it's not legal to be taking them off the beach, first of all.
"Since when did I care about the law?"
Second of all, neither of us know how to take care of crabs or turtles.
"You have your magical box that you can find answers on."
THIRD, we rarely spend time at home.
"We can spend more time there."
Why am I trying to play the voice of reason?
I ask myself that same question every day.
"My new frieeends! Hey, Crompty, no trying to pinch Marbles. Wardy 2, stop trying to eat my hair-"
<><> Hours Later <><>
"...Why is there sand in my mouth? How the hell did I get sand in my mouth?"
It gets everywhere.
"There are bucket loads of sand in my hair-"
Yep.
Canary did warn you.
Even told you to braid it.
"I can't braid that much hair."
Learn to do it.
"Absolutely not. Ew, there's sand all over my feet- Now it's in the house. Oh, man. Angel, don't murder me-"
It isn't me you should worry about.
I'm going to drown you.
"I can take her. It's fine. Anyway, let's get our children settled in, and somehow get this sand off of me."
Shower?
"I hate water."
You were just dancing, prancing, and screaming like a feral dumbass through the water at the beach, looking for more turtles.
"And that's how I found Richard."
Were you dropped on your head as a child?
"Nope."
Most likely.
"Stop bullying me."
It's too easy.
YOU ARE READING
Random Short Stories/Written Ideas
RandomThis is just a spot for me to unload any creative ideas I've had and make them public! Feel free to read, and please enjoy.
