Fields of Gold; Daniel Ricciardo

Fix you.

"I missed you so much. You were there, but you weren't. Please don't ever do this to me again." I say still trying to catch my breath.
"I won't, I promise. I love you so much baby."
I kiss him again.
"Finally you call me baby again. I love you too."

"You sounded amazing up there. You really should get a record deal or something." He says looking proud.
"No I don't want to. I'm fine right where I am now. I love this bar and the band. I love Monaco. I love our life. It's enough for me." I take a deep breath and then decide to get up. "Would you please take me home now?"
"I would love to."
Our legs are a bit numb when we finally stand up and we have to hold on to one of the tables

"Oh my god we look like we are 80." He jokes and I couldn't be happier that we are able to laugh together again.
I know we are going to have plenty of difficult moments going forward. Just because we have found each other again doesn't mean the pain of our loss is gone.

Back home we order some food and we just cuddle the entire evening on the couch watching a movie.

The next day I decide to call Dr. Dubois as we won't be needing the appointment after Silverstone anymore.
She asks us to come in, for a talk and we head over there.
While we are in the waiting room it feels a lot different than last time. We were going to see how far along I was then and now we are going to talk about what happened.
Daniel is quiet, last time he was going through all the flyers, now he just sits besides me.

I take his hand in mine and squeeze it softly to show him I'm here for him, he looks at me and smiles even though it's a sad smile.
"Skylar, Daniel please come in." Dr Dubois comes for us and we follow her into her office.
"First off al I wish we could have waited to meet for our actual appointment with better news.
I'm very sorry for your loss, the doctor in Canada has sent me your file and I can see that they found some things that made it impossible for the baby to survive. Unfortunately the ultrasound we made was too early to be able to see any of that yet." She looks at us after checking out her computer at the file she got.

"How are you coping?" She asks us and I answer first.
"I guess I'm alright. It's hard obviously, but I also realize that it wasn't anything I could have prevented, so that gives me some peace of mind. But yeah, I'm still heartbroken, but I guess it will hurt less as the time goes by."
She nods and looks at Daniel. "And you?"

He sighs, "it's been difficult, I felt guilty, because I was working when it happened and after that I was afraid to lean on Skylar so we had a couple of very tough days. But we're getting back on track and I know we are doing this together."

"Good, these things will take time, unfortunately it's something a lot of couples go through, but being there for each other is the most important thing you can do." She types something. "Skylar, do you mind if I check you to see if everything physically is ok?"

I nod, "yeah sure, I notice the bleeding is getting less every day. But I still have some nausea." She leads me to the bed where she first feels my stomach. "Your uterus feels like it's back to it's normal size, so that is good. The bleeding will probably stop soon, when that happens you are also able to be intimate again if you feel like it."

I look at Daniel and blush. Being intimate with him is something I can't get enough off.
"Should we try to prevent another pregnancy for a while?" I ask her. I have to admit, that now I've been pregnant and we thought we were going to be parents I got used to the idea and I wouldn't mind it at all if it happened again. At least the pregnancy, not the miscarriage, but that's something you never know in advance.

"Oh no, all the tests showed that there shouldn't be an increased risk for another pregnancy. There's absolutely no medical indication that this will happen again. Even though you never know of course. I can't guarantee the outcome for next time." She explains and I understand.