sweater weather || minsung

20

⚠️TW/ mentions sh, suicidal actions, abusive parents, homophobia⚠️

"all good?" jisung asked softly as minho calmed down.

"yeah, sorry." minho chuckled.

"it's okay hun, don't worry." jisung smiled.

"wanna finish our trauma dump over a cigarette?" minho smiled.

"yeah, let's go." jisung nodded, standing up.

the two went down in their house slippers, not bothering to put on shoes or jackets. jisung pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket as they stood against the wall, placing one between his lips.

minho gently took the lighter from jisungs hand, holding it up to the cigarette. he lit it, placing a kiss onto jisungs cheek as he took a drag.

"i was always bullied, not just by jaehee. i overthink things a lot, and i tend to spend a lot of time in my head. i always feel like i'm overdoing it or being dramatic every time i have a big reaction to something. my mom and dad are both abusive. they always have been. in all aspects." jisung sighed, handing the cigarette to minho. "your turn."

"my parents never paid attention to me. i had to beg for their attention and i still never got it. i eventually learned to give up. it's not like they were busy, they just didn't care about me. the maids that worked for them made sure i was taken care of. in high school i told myself i should be used to feeling lonely. that i would get used to it. but i never did." minho handed the cigarette back to jisung. "your turn."

"i started to self harm in middle school because i thought that i deserved it. now i'm addicted to self harm. any emotional trigger can make me relapse. i'll even do it just for the hell of it." jisung passed the cigarette back to minho.

"i started self harm in high school. i also thought i deserved it. if everyone was leaving me then i had to be doing something wrong. even my own parents didn't love me. i still struggle with it to this day." minho placed the cigarette between jisungs lips.

"my first suicide attempt was in high school. after my dad found out, he beat me. i attempted two more times after that, but gave up because i was found every time and gotten help. but no therapy or anything would work because i wouldn't utter a word to the doctors." jisung handed the cigarette to minho.

"my first attempt was also in high school. my parents didn't even notice. i haven't attempted since then, but it does suck." minho sighed, giving jisung the cigarette.

"my dad started selling me to rich people after i came out freshman year. i don't know whether that means he was accepting or not." jisung chuckled, handing the cigarette to minho.

"i still haven't come out to my parents. they try to reach out sometimes and they invite me to every holiday but still, i'm ignored. i have no clue what their lgbtqia+ views are." minho placed the cigarette between jisungs lips.

"well then...they've got a surprise for the next holiday." jisung smiled, putting out the cigarette that was almost completely burnt out. he left it between his fingers as he connected his and minhos lips.

"let's go back up." minho smiled.

jisung threw the remainder of the cigarette away in the trash, taking minhos hand in his as they walked back up to their apartment. they entered the warm apartment, going back to the living room.

"thanks for trusting me." jisung smiled as he cuddled up next to minho.

"you too." minho nodded, rubbing his thumb over the back of jisungs hand.

"let's take care of each other." jisung smiled gently.

"always." minho lifted their hands, pressing a gentle kiss onto the back of jisungs hand.

they'd never thought they'd find someone to love. but now here they were. with warmth in their chest and butterflies roaming their stomachs. they were just two broken boys trying to make it through together.

"as long as we have each other, everything will be alright." jisung sighed contently.

"i'll never let you go." minho smiled.

"good. cause i can't imagine a future without you." jisung kissed minho softly.

the two stood up, making their way to their room. minho gently laid jisung down on the bed, crawling on top of him. minho kissed him slowly, taking his sweet time to pour out his emotions.

"let's sleep now, yeah?" minho smiled as he broke the kiss.

"yeah." jisung nodded, pulling the covers over minho as he laid his head on jisungs chest.

"good night ji." minho smiled.

"good night min."

a/n: i'm tired as fuck 🫦🫰